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2022 in Review: The Year of Shege

Before we put the year 2022 in review, let us all, first of all, take a moment to shout seven powerful Hallelujahs, and scream Allahu Akbar at the top of our lungs. And for our traditional brothers and sisters, please help us drop a sacrifice of epic proportions to the gods.

2022 in Review: The Year of Shege
Wait, wait! No! Not this kind of… oof!

Why are we jubilating? Because we survived 2022, that’s why. And only he who wants to lie will say that the year 2022 was not a trying one. Except if you’ve been living under a rock, 2022 must have shown you shege in one form or another.

2022 in Review: Shege’s Rise

Shege used to be just any other word in the Yoruba dictionary, one of the many expressions used to denote hardship. Before, it was just a synonym, a face in a crowd of colorful expressions.

However, 2022 saw Shege rise from the trenches to become a lexicon of importance. In fact, the Urban Dictionary now defines shege (sh) as the unit for measuring sapa at a point in time. It even goes further to say that sapa over a specified period of time is quantified as shege per time unit, e.g., Shege/day, Shege/week, Shege/month, etc.

Suddenly, shege was no longer just another kid on the block. Shege now had class. Shege now had status. Teaming up with sapa, shege visited a lot of Nigerians, and even took a couple of trips abroad.

Suffice to say that shege is one of the few entities that benefited the most from 2022. This is why whenever anybody puts 2022 in review, they will remember it as the Year of Shege. Let us look at some of shege’s exploits in the year in question.

2022 in Review: Key Moments

Twitter Ban Lifted

The year 2022 began with the Federal Government lifting a ban on Twitter. Recall that the FG, backed by our very own beloved Lai Mohammed, had imposed a ban on the microblogging site in June 2021 after the latter deleted a tweet that it said, “violated its rules”.

Had it been anybody’s tweet deleted, it would have been fine. However, this particular tweet belonged to none other than Muhammadu Buhari, GCFR extraordinaire. Shey Twitter dey play? Why will you delete Bubu’s tweet?

The FG’s temper tantrum ran for seven months, after which it lifted the ban on January 13, 2022. Probably because someone finally tipped them off that they were wasting their time, since Nigerians never left Twitter in the first place. Trust me, the lifting of the ban didn’t even elicit a blinked eyelid.

Signing of the 2022 Electoral Act

Following closely on the heels of Twitter’s freedom was President Buhari’s signing of the Electoral Law Amendment Act 2022 into law on February 25, 2022. Due to the legislation’s complexity, it was a memorable historical moment that went down well with most well-meaning Nigerians.

What is the Act all about? Well, among other things, it ensures that it cuts off the many forms of human interference in elections, which aid rigging. INEC, now armed with new technologies, now has legal backing to transmit results from the polling units to its national portal where all Nigerians view them live.

If faithfully executed, fraudulent acts, like the one that occurred in the recent Imo state by-election, where hooligans kidnapped INEC officials along with election materials, would be a thing of the past. In other words, it would the notion that the collation center is the “real” place where elections are “won and lost” because the public will know the results in real time.

Russia-Ukraine War

Unbeknownst to us, while we were busy applauding the victories in Nigeria, shege had started its operation, and it chose to do so externally. It borrowed money to buy visa, traveled to Europe, and with a whisper here in Vladimir Putin’s ear and another in NATO’s, WWIII almost started.

And while it initially looked like this would not really be our problem, the war turned out to have far-reaching consequences that touched almost every corner of the world. Items like food, fuel and other amenities became scarce and their prices went up, and the conflict remains unresolved till today.

So, yes, the year seemed to start on a good note, but unfortunately, that was not to last. Because from here, shege, with a bellyful of orijin, cocaine and vawulence, was just getting started.

SEE: Oliseh Hopes To Coach Nigeria A Second Time

ASUU Strike

On February 14, instead of spreading love, the Academic Staff Union of Universities decided to go the other way by embarking on a warning strike action. Their reason? FG was cheating on them. And no, I didn’t misspeak.

Think of FG as a husband with many wives in the forms of various Ministries and Unions. Yet, it keeps diverting funds to just a few while neglecting the others. That’s cheating, mehn!

The ASUU strike turned out to be shege’s greatest weapon, because while FG might have thought it would be like before where they would make false promises and everyone would disperse, shege had other ideas. The strike ended up running for eight long months, with several consequences for both lecturers and students.

Talk about playing the long game.

SEE: ASUU Rejects Half Salary, Summons NEC

Fuel Scarcity

While putting 2022 in review, we must not forget the nationwide fuel scarcity, which sat alongside the strike action in shege’s book of the long game. With a combination of tactics and unseen moves, shege ensured that fuel scarcity hit the nation as many as four times within the space of a year.

That’s got to be a personal record. And while Nigeria was not the only one hit, only our dear country chose a price hike as the obvious solution.

Insecurity

Insecurity has always been a problem in Nigeria, but it seemed someone in 2022 found the switch and turned the volume up to 11. From high-profile abductions, killings and extremist insurgencies, the insecurity situation was at its peak.

In March, terrorists attacked an Abuja-Kaduna passenger train, killed 14 persons, and abducted 63 others. This attack forced the Nigerian Railways Corporation (NRC) to suspend operations temporarily. The bandits subjected the kidnapped persons, including the elderly, women, the sick, and infants, to untold hardship. The victims were eventually released in batches, with the last in September.

That same month, Bamise Ayanwole was raped and killed after she boarded a BRT from Lekki to Oshodi. Two months later in May, Deborah Samuel was lynched and set ablaze by her irate schoolmates in Sokoto. Why? She blasphemed.

2022 in Review: The Year of Shege
Thomas had never heard such bullshit in his life

In June, militants attacked St Francis Catholic Church in Owo during Sunday Mass, killing 40 people and injuring 80 others. And just as the year was closing, Mrs. Bolanle Raheem was murdered by a police officer in Lagos. On Christmas Day. And she was pregnant with twins.

There have been many other cases of mindless killings and violence across the country – in the East, Southern Kaduna, and elsewhere. All of these accentuate the challenge of Nigeria’s insecurity and the increasing contempt with which people now treat human lives.

And the most painful part is that several of the perpetrators of these gruesome acts were never apprehended.

Flooding

After Cameroon opened overflow spillways of its Lagdo Dam in September, more than half of Nigeria’s countryside went on an impromptu underwater voyage.

This flood led to the death of over 500 people, displaced over 600,000 more and destroyed as many as 45,000 houses. It also damaged at least 70,000 hectares of farmlands, leading to more food scarcity.

And since the FG is to blame for the flood in a roundabout way, unfortunately, they were unable to call Cameroon to order.

2022 in Review: Other Occurrences

The Attempted Rise of Monkeypox

In early May, when the world was still reeling from the effects of Covid-19, Monkeypox tried to follow in its footsteps. The first outbreak was reported in London, with several other cases following suit. Unfortunately for it (and fortunately for us), it never quite managed to hit that level of legendary that coronavirus achieved.

And thank goodness for that too. One lockdown is enough to last a person for a lifetime.

Death of Queen Elizabeth, Second of Her Name

In early September, the world (or at least a part of it) went into mourning as Queen Elizabeth II died. With 70 years and 214 days on the throne, she is the longest-reigning British monarch ever.

Her son, the then Prince Charles II, Prince of Wales, has since received the baton and is now King Charles III.

The Rise of Balablu

Earlier in the year, during the month of May, political parties conducted their primaries in line with INEC’s schedule. Bola Ahmed Tinubu of The All Progressives Congress (APC) emerged as the party’s Presidential candidate while Alhaji Atiku Abubakar emerged as the candidate of the main opposition party, the People’s Democratic Party (PDP).

And then there is the differential, Peter Obi of the reforged Labour Party. However, as interesting as Peter Obi’s movement has become, it still trails somewhat to the content that Jagaban has been dropping in recent months.

First came his exercise video, which he uploaded as proof of the fact that he was still hale and hearty, and not dead like his haters were claiming. At just eight seconds long, many had a lot to say about this particular video.

Most especially what might have happened had it gone on to nine seconds.

BAT also made headlines when he declared his plan to fight insecurity in the country, which entailed drafting five million Nigerian youths and feeding them with agbado (corn). It is rich in carbohydrates, after all, which is a good source of strength. However, his crowning moment came with this:

@ifeanyidibie619

Tinubu barely does interviews & attend political events, but when he does, his public statements are either ¤ffensive or meaning!ess; Not surprised about the “baba blue, blue blue, holaba” speech, it’s just sh@mefu! that some Nigerians are too b!ind to see he’s unf!t to contest.

♬ original sound – The sixth sense

Don’t ask me what he was trying to say. I only just ordered my own copy of the Balablu dictionary, but it was delivered to a different town hall.

Nigeria To The World

As we put 2022 in review, despite shege’s best efforts, not everything that happened was bad. The year saw a lot of Nigerian talents projected to the world, chief among them Tobi Amusan. The 25-year-old athlete became the first ever Nigerian world champion and world record holder in an athletics event when she won the 2022 World Championships 100m hurdles gold medal, smashing several records in the process.

FIFA World Cup

Arguably the climax to the end of the year, Argentina won the FIFA World Cup a third time, after 36 years, in a thrilling final match against France. This achievement ensured that Lionel Messi embossed his name in gold as he won the singular trophy that has eluded him throughout his career.

In what analysts have called the best World Cup ever, hosted by Qatar, it was indeed one to remember, with Morocco finishing in fourth place. This made them the first African country to go as far as the semi-final in the history of the tournament. While Nigeria failed to qualify for the tournament, Davido’s appearance as part of the troika that sang the tournament’s theme song, “Haya Haya” was somewhat of a consolation.

SEE MORE: Richest Footballers in the World

2022 in Review: What a Year

Whew! All of these, and more, occurred within just 365 days? Are we sure someone didn’t add more days/weeks/months when we weren’t looking? Anyways, those are some of the key events that occurred in 2022. If we missed any, please do let us know in the comments section below.

But on the bright side, we’re still alive, aren’t we? We just pray that the last person to leave 2022 bolted the door properly, to ensure that shege stays there.

Jimmy Anisulowo
Jimmy Anisulowo
A couple of unexpected turns in life found Jimmy with a metaphorical pen in hand, churning out content and living in his head so much that he knighted himself the Pen Dragon. He is also an avid reader, gamer, drummer, full-blown metalhead, and all-round fun gi