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Besties: The Beloved Third Wheel

There has been a lot of attention on close opposite-sex relationships, also known as besties.

Many people believe that it’s all a front and there is no way that people could be friends with the opposite sex. And although it has been perceived as valuable, it raises the most debated question “Can boys and girls be just friends?”

Let’s talk Besties!!!

A best friend could mean a lot of things to many people. It could mean a friend that you really trust and who always has your back. It could humorously mean an enemy to some people.

But normally when you hear bestie in Nigeria, this refers to a close friend who is of the opposite sex.

Truth? Yes, it is very possible. They can have platonic relationships. But does it always stay platonic? 


I don’t think so. 

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Let’s start with the benefits of besties

When you have a good friend of another sex, your experience would be… well sweet. You get to spend a lot of time seeing the world through their eyes.

Better understanding of the opposite sex

This could be the top reason why people want besties. Because they are members of the opposite sex, they can give you insights into how their gender behaves.

You know how girls love drama and how boys love being unserious? This usually is of great advantage to your friendship. As an additional perk, they can help you evaluate your love life from a different perspective.

Also, they will always protect you at all costs! 

Less loneliness 


It is easier to cope with the loneliness of being single when you have male/ female besties. They come in handy as your plus one for weddings or other events. 

There is also the aspect of gossip! You get to gossip with someone during your leisure time, work, or even reunions! 

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More honesty

This is so true! They are always the brutal ones. A male bestie will always help you out with unsolicited advice. They are in the best position to help you stay grounded emotionally. My male friends always tell me the truth.

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A free relationship

Even if you are in a relationship, you may worry that constantly reaching out to them would make you too available or portray you as being clingy.

But in friendship, you don’t need to be cautious about these things. You can be yourself and say a lot of things. You can also talk about deep secrets without feeling judged.

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Less complicated 

Nobody loves a drama-filled life. Of course, girls love trouble but not so much. Life is a lot better when lived drama-free.

Same-sex friendships usually come with a lot of drama. Ahem, fake relationships! There is a subtle and underlying competition between the two of you, whether you want it or not. 

In the case of besties, things are completely different. There is hardly any drama as things are straightforward. And when any drama arises, it is easy for the other sex to manage the situation without blowing it out of proportion.

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What is the truth about besties?

There is nothing wrong with males and females being friends. As said above, it can be beautiful!

It doesn’t always have to be about the fact that they are male or friends but their behavior. There has to be some sort of “chemistry” for two people to be friends. If two people don’t get along or if their personalities aren’t compatible, they wouldn’t even be friends – whether they are male or female.

But let’s be true – most relationships are not always platonic. Sometimes, opposite-sex friendships are difficult because they are constantly being tested by attraction. 

I’m going to paint two scenarios for you.

  1. You can be friends with the opposite sex for so long and suddenly one of you starts feelings. As you have seen in movies, it is mostly the girls who fall for their male friends but in real life, men also catch feelings for their female besties.
  2. Another scenario could be that both of you have been friends for so long and suddenly there is this sexual tension in the air. You notice that his hands are so strong and you want them around you. You notice that her behind is so big. Gbam! It gets physical. It starts with an innocent kiss, and then one Netflix and chill can change your relationship.

The second scenario mostly happens with many people. This could be because of the loneliness of being single. But on average, most bestie relationships are now considered more sexual than platonic. This is where friends with benefits come from.

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Now, is this normal? Yes. There would be sexual tension. 

There could be nothing wrong with having sexual feelings for your friends. In movies, you may feel that they may be your one true love and the relationship may work out.

In other cases, you can jeopardize your relationship. Once that relationship turns sort of sensual, your other relationships may suffer. You may have a partner, which is almost the same for everyone. 

Not to mention you two may not be able to behave well with each other – there is tension, jealousy, and anxiety…. It could turn into drama. 

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How can you handle being friends with the opposite sex?

Besties: The Beloved Third Wheel - battabox.com

Relationships with besties are tricky. However, as long as you know the rules and gender boundaries, you can have a perfectly platonic and enviable friendship!

First of all, keep everything platonic and keep feelings in check!

How would you feel if your friend suddenly found a partner and started a close relationship? Would you be happy for them or would you become a little jealous? That’s something you need to watch out for! 

It’s also important to communicate these feelings healthily with your friend.

One of the most important rules of any friendship is to always respect the feelings of your friend. Make sure you have boundaries! Boundaries always help in many relationships.

Additionally, don’t flirt with them so much. Don’t share so much intimate details with them. Also, don’t hide your relationship from them! Keep things strictly platonic!!

They may be your spec but your bestie is your FRIEND, not anything else!

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Conclusion on besties

Every relationship is normal and it could change, just as humans change! Nothing helps more than communicating your feelings to your friends and partner. 

To you, who is having a relationship with your bestie, sit down and think about it. Do you see it going anywhere? If it isn’t, you may need to cut the chord before it gets serious. 

Oluwatoyin Odunuyi
Oluwatoyin Odunuyihttps://linktr.ee/ToyinAjua
Oluwatoyin Eria-Ajua Odunuyi resides in the bustling city of Lagos, Nigeria. In 2020, she received a BSc in Mass communication from Caleb University and specialized in print journalism. Toyin loves to write romance novels because she is obsessed with living in a never-ever-land and often lives through her books. She presently owns a 5-year blog called "An Inclusive Kind world" where she speaks on Autism and society's role in pushing for awareness and inclusion.