Congratulations! You’re in love!
You have found the right person; the one who ticks all of the boxes on your romantic checkbox. So now you’re probably wondering “when can I move into my man’s house?” Or vice versa if you’re a guy.
The Moving in
Okay, first of all, let’s tell you. You don’t need to rush when it comes to moving in with your partner. There is this general myth that, after a while, you need to ask your partner about staying with them.
Take your time.
You both will definitely reach a stage in the relationship where you will want to spend so much time together. When you’re partnered up with someone, one of the next logical steps in the relationship is to cohabitate, so you may want to wake up in the loving arms of your partner.
If the relationship is still fresh, though, this brings up the question: how soon is too soon to move in together? For instance, is three months too soon to move in together? What about six or nine months?
The short answer: It depends.
You don’t want to rush into this level of commitment if the timing isn’t right or you haven’t done your due diligence.
How soon is it to move in?
Conventional wisdom advises couples to wait at least a year before cohabitating, but experts insist two years is the magic number.
Ideas, however, don’t always align with the actual stats.
Some experts have given various advice, but many people have different stages in their relationships. Some may want to move in during the honeymoon stage.
Dr. Gary Brown explains that the honeymoon stage is a temporary period where partners are doing very well and giving others the benefit of the doubt. That’s the stage that most people might want to move in because things are still very rosy.
But what happens when the stage runs out and reality creeps in? What do you do?
Some people move in within a month and stay together forever while others wait a few years to do so to check out the cohabitation experiment, and still end up breaking up. There’s no particular way this works.
Every relationship runs at its own pace, be sure of yours before you make a decision this important.
Can moving in together too soon ruin a relationship?
Well, yes. If you haven’t established a strong base in your relationship, moving in is a big step and can jeopardize the relationship.
When living together, you will quickly learn what your partner’s values are and how they like to live, and you will need to navigate this alongside your values and how you like to live. Without a strong foundation, it might be harder to work through this. You might also find yourself surprised by who your partner is.
Ensure that you’ve had clear and direct conversations about it and that your intentions, goals, and values are in alignment.
SEE: Red Flags In Relationships You Must Not Ignore
Signs you’re ready to move in
Various signs would indicate if you’re ready to move in together. The first sign is if you’re both supportive of each other’s goals.
If you have each other’s back, then you’ve checked off another cohabitation requirement.
Other reasons are;
You’re both on the same page about the relationship
Have you talked about where you both see the relationship headed or what you want during the relationship? If you’re not mature or committed enough to talk about a future with each other, moving in together may not be the wisest step.
But if you’re both on the same page, then cohabitating may make the most sense.
READ: Score a Date: The Online Toast Formula to Win Her Heart
You live together already
You would know if you’re ready to move in if you live together.
If it’s been many months since you’ve stayed apart, and you’re getting along fine, it’s probably safe to consolidate.
You know how to communicate with each other
True communication can be very difficult to achieve. Some people don’t like opening up, so it is mandatory to speak to your partner in the right way so they would understand.
If you can easily bring up difficult topics to your partner and fix a problem without reacting like a deranged person, maybe that may be good for you.
If you can tell when the person needs space, you’re ready to cohabitate!
Want to learn how to communicate effectively? Read our article on how to do so here
You can deal with the other person’s mess
Moving in with someone means that you would have to accommodate another person. It may be annoying to deal with someone else’s mess. You’ll know when you’re going to move in together if you can handle your partner’s bullshit without it driving you mad.
What about chores? Have you decided how to split them up? If you’ve covered all these bases, you’re probably ready to share a roof.
SEE: How to Deal With an Insecure Partner
You’re comfortable with financial talk
If you want to move in together, you must be ready to have various financial talks. You must be willing to communicate about money and savings. Many might say that you need to have your finances in check.
You must be open about your base financial situation, but you also should be willing to communicate about money continually and effectively.
It’s also wise to discuss a backup plan if one of you cannot fulfill your end one month.
You’ve survived a huge fight
Couples that always fight usually don’t survive — but neither do couples that bottle up their feelings.
If you’re thinking about moving in together, you should have at least one major fight. This would make it easy to cohabitate. Living together with that in check would make you work your way through conflicts.
READ ALSO: Things You Should Never Tell Your Girlfriend
Your gut says “Yes”
Finally! You’ll know when it’s time to move in when you feel that you can.
Consult your gut. It may be scary but don’t worry!
Moving in quickly is not always an option, but if you’re looking for a long serious relationship, you will need to discuss that. Think about the signs written above and also your relationship.
Most importantly, though, the biggest sign that you may be ready is that there is reciprocity in the relationship.