Every time I listen to Justin Bieber’s ‘Love yourself‘, I get mixed feelings. On one hand, I’m mad that he sang the song to spite Selena, and on the other, I feel so empowered by it.
Like ‘yeahhhh, I don’t need you to love me. I like the way I look and I’m going to love love love myself!’
A lot of people need this mentality too. You should learn to love yourself and it all starts with the small things. Like hyping yourself up, rewarding yourself, taking care of yourself, and dating yourself.
Which really is what I’m writing about today, how to date yourself.
I’d like to begin by stating that society is a bitch! And it has taught us that things like dating yourself are a sign of loneliness or lack of love from other people. This notion is totally false.
I’m of the opinion that people tend to treat you the way you treat yourself. If you treat yourself right, others will lean towards treating you right. I’m not saying this happens all the time, because there is always an exception to every rule. What I am saying though, is that if you treat yourself so well, and get to know yourself by dating yourself, it would be easier for you to see when someone else is treating you like trash.
What does it mean to date yourself?
Dating in the general sense is when a couple is getting to know one another. Getting to know likes, dislikes, wants, and hopes, and seeing if they are compatible with each other.
Dating yourself is basically the same thing. The only thing is that you cannot let go of your own self if you find out you aren’t a 100.
And that is the entire point; dating yourself means getting to know yourself. To align you with you and to fall hopeless, irresistibly and completely in love with yourself.
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How to date yourself
Now, dating yourself can be slightly different from what a romantic partner would do. As stated earlier, it is you getting to know yourself so please cancel those raunchy thoughts you were already having and focus!
Begin with self-care
Give love to your body. Skin care, hair care, a spa date, or pamper yourself with flowers or a nice perfume. Something personal that you’ve always wanted. Eat healthy, smell nice, and dress well.
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Focus on your mental health
If you are okay inwardly, it will always radiate on the outside. So yes, take care of your mental health. Avoid people who stress or belittle you.
Learn to journal. Write down your feelings, hopes, and dreams. This will help you to practice mindfulness and gratitude especially when you read them again in the coming years.
Be kind to yourself
Kindness is so important in any relationship, including your relationship with yourself. Learn to compliment yourself. And I don’t mean it in a superficial way; learn to give yourself genuine attention and compliment yourself.
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Learn your love language
In dating yourself, you need to discover how you prefer to be loved. Do you prefer words of affirmation? Acts of service? Gifts? Or do you even like a mix of all of them? Know how you want to be loved.
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Take yourself on dates
Imagine being with someone who does not take you on dates. Take yourself out! Go for a solo dinner, go watch a movie, or go kayaking. Just ensure it’s an activity you enjoy.
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- Go on a picnic – pack some nice food, and drinks and just take yourself out of your environment.
- Write a love letter to yourself.
- Write a list of things you are proud of and are glad you accomplished. This could range from personal stuff to career.
- Take a quiet walk. Plug your ears and listen to your favorite songs.
- Book a spa day!
- Cook a fancy meal for yourself
- Plan a stay-cation – take time off from the stress of being human. Book a trip and just go somewhere to relax
- Host a solo wine and paint night
- Take a dance class. It could be zumba or salsa; you’ll meet new people while learning something new.
- Get dolled up and take photos. This does wonders to lift your spirits, I promise.
- Meditate on the things you love about yourself.
- Spruce up your space. Set aside a day to thoroughly clean your space and do some interior design work. It sounds like work but you’ll be happy after.
- Give yourself a massage. So I just found out one can actually give oneself a massage. There are videos online on how to give yourself a real massage. (Trust me, it’s a game changer.)
- Hit up a new bookstore – if you are a bookworm like me, then this should excite you.
- Do a solo party night. Just turn on some music and dance the night away!
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How to date yourself: In conclusion
Learning to date yourself can sound a little mulish sometimes but it really is one of the best things you can do for yourself as well as others. If you can learn how to love and appreciate yourself, then it will be easier for you to recognize what love means to you.
Apart from that, you will give others permission to love you too.
When you start dating yourself, you can permit self-love, and personal growth, and boost your confidence and happiness without relying on others for the same.