Insecurity not only threatens your progress and development as a person but also affects your relationships – romantic or platonic. It fuels a lack of emotional confidence and security, which can lead to major issues in a relationship.
You must find out if you’re insecure and if you aren’t, how to deal with an insecure partner.
Insecurity in relationships presents itself in many ways: your partner could ponder on a particular mindset or behave in a certain way that annoys you. They may be more cautious, overly emotional, sensitive, or terrified.
When you begin a relationship with someone who has been hurt in past relationships, this can bring difficulties, as past hurt and trauma can bring a lot of insecurities. An insecure partner may be shut down, more cautious, or more sensitive, and you may struggle to know how to help and communicate with them.
But first, you need to identify the signs of insecurity in your relationship;
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Signs of insecurity
- Lack of trust: They doubt every little thing you say or do. The person also has a habit of snooping around and feels threatened easily.
- Lack of intimacy: They struggle with feeling close sexually or emotionally (or both). They always have their guard up during intimate moments.
- Panic: During a conflict, they panic that their partner will leave or judge them. They want to know if everything is okay.
- Easily offended: They feel immediately offended, hurt, or shut down by something you said or asked. This is probably because they feel easily criticized.
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Tips on how to support your insecure partner
Here are some tips that can help you navigate your relationship when that is the case.
Consider the source of your partner’s insecurities
First, it’s important to consider the underlying causes of your partner’s insecurities. Low self-esteem, attachment, and past trauma are all factors that can affect someone’s ability to feel safe in a relationship.
If your partner suffers from self-worth issues, you can encourage them to see how lovable they are. Remember that you cannot become the source of their sense of worthiness. They are in charge of building their self-worth; you just need to remind them.
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This is the best thing you can offer your partner. Unconditional support is best for someone insecure. Let them know that you are there for them. Allow them space to talk about their past relationship(s) and their insecurities.
Do not say “move on”, as it may come across as rude or insensitive. It is important to be patient and allow them room to express these things.
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Express your feelings
Make sure you communicate your feelings as much as you are pushing them to open up.
Communicate your feelings, needs, and insecurities with them. When they see that you have a habit of doing so, this will encourage them to do so too.
SEE: 8 Steps To Improve Your Communication
Yes, someone who is insecure feels bad for themselves. An insecure partner can have a powerful fear of being hurt, or have a lot of worries concerning the relationship.
Therefore, you must make sure to give positive reinforcement. Occasionally reassure them and remind them of the things you love about them.
Ask for their wants
Every person is different and no one is a mind reader. An insecure person might not say what they want or need. Change that for them.
Let your partner know you understand they have been hurt and that you are there for them.
READ: Love Language: Types and Importance
Spend quality time together
Spending quality time together is very important for any relationship, but it’s even more important when one partner is feeling insecure.
Make time for your partner, even if it’s just to work out together or watch a movie together. Prioritize quality time.
SEE: Signs Your Partner is Cheating
Create Healthy Boundaries
Yes, dealing with an insecure partner can take a toll on your mental health. It can be very difficult. It’s important to take care of your emotional well-being and to spend some time away from your partner.
You don’t need to feel bad that you cannot fix the issue. Sometimes the best thing is to take a step backward and let them figure out their problems on their own. This is one of the best ways to deal with an insecure partner.
Dealing with an insecure partner can be difficult, but if you apply some of the tips above, it would make things bearable. Make sure you identify the real problem, offer support and spend quality time together.
Most of all, these will help to improve the long-term outlook of your relationship.