Let’s be honest, we all have that one thing that makes us scared. That makes us feel that we cannot do anything or that we would never be enough.
It may be related to our voice, physical appearance, work, and much more. We all have insecurities.
What are insecurities?
Insecurity is a general feeling of inadequacy and uncertainty. Inadequacy means that one could never feel enough.
It produces anxiety about one’s appearance, goals, relationships, and ability to handle certain situations.
The unique thing about insecurities is that they can appear in all areas of life and come from a variety of causes. Most of the time it comes from trauma.
However, what people don’t know is that people act a certain way because they are insecure. Even the worst people on earth and the bullies have insecurities that make them act out.
Types of insecurities
- Personal insecurities: This is the most popular. These are generally about your appearance and others’ perception of you. You may love to put up makeup to hide your acne and blemishes, which may seem superficial to someone who is observing it from the outside. However, you know the reason why you’re doing so.
- Professional insecurities: This often appears at work and makes people anxious and self-conscious to give their best. These insecurities can also fill them with self-doubt and cause them to believe they aren’t good enough for promotions or taking risks.
- Relationship insecurities: These are common and can occur in any relationship – platonic or romantic. They make you feel like you don’t deserve your partner and that someone else will make them happier. These insecurities can lead to jealousy and arguments.
SEE: How to deal with an insecure partner
Signs of Insecurity
Insecurities can vary from person to person, but there are common signs to watch out for.
The most popular one is low self-esteem. Low self-esteem means you think badly about yourself or your abilities. It can lead to other problems, especially concerning mental health.
A person with low self-esteem would have the constant urge to feel like they should be perfect. This could mean to the person that they could never be enough or their performance at work or the relationship isn’t.
Most people go overboard to prove something to others and most times their performance is low.
Insecurity can also lead people to avoid social interactions, isolating themselves. Sometimes, you may notice that insecure people prefer to not socialize or prefer to interact virtually.
Finally, insecure people have attachment issues and often don’t want to have meaningful relationships with people. Once they see that they have something good going on, they decide to end it abruptly. The reason is that they feel like they do not deserve love or care.
How to deal with your insecurities
Embrace your true self
Everyone has something that they feel embarrassed about. It could be your squeaky voice, flat feet, or height.
What you can do is embrace what you don’t like about yourself or what is weird. You need to constantly remind yourself that nobody is perfect.
Challenge negative thoughts
Many people have negative thoughts, which also come from a place of trauma.
It’s easy to be hard on ourselves after stumbling or making a mistake. What you need to do is to write those negative thoughts about yourself so that you can observe them and how frequently they come up.
Surround yourself with good company
Yes, your network matters. Surround yourself with people who make you feel good about yourself. The right network will build up your confidence and make you feel accepted for who you are.
Make a plan to set up more dates and get-togethers with the good people in your life and limit interaction with the bad.
Reflect on your good things
As I said, many people know that they have different problems. You need to focus on the good aspects of yourself. Celebrate your successes! Be proud of what you do. This would help you out with your self-esteem.
You could save notes from people who admire or celebrate you. You can also write down accomplishments whenever you feel down!
SEE: Body shaming- All you need to know
Do things that bring you joy
You need to prioritize spending free time doing things that bring you serious joy and make you feel great!
Even better, consider learning a new skill or taking up a hobby you’ve always wanted to try.
Take little steps
I need to clarify one thing; overcoming insecurity and building up your self-esteem doesn’t happen overnight. You need to be kind to yourself during this process and don’t get discouraged if things aren’t improving as fast as you’d like them to.
Small steps also matter!
Work with a therapist
If all these methods do not work, various experts have said that qualified therapists can help you out. They can help you explore your fears and also give new strategies on how to manage your problems.
You also need to embrace your growth stage; do not feel pressured that you must achieve some things quickly. Many things take time.
Our insecurities can get the better of us, but that’s entirely normal.
We’re all humans and we are wired to notice what doesn’t go well or what isn’t working more than what is. Always know that your insecurities do not define you and despite everything, you are still a great person and many people want to be around you!