HomeTopicalMasturbation: Everything You're Too Afraid To Ask (18+)

Masturbation: Everything You’re Too Afraid To Ask (18+)

Ah, masturbation! What a word. Some people will tell you there’s nothing like a good nut to start off the day, eh? If you think I’m talking about edible nuts, please skip this article and go back to doing whatever made your brain lose such potential.

Masturbation, just like weed, is a very controversial topic. By controversial, I mean you can always find enough delegates arguing either for or against the motion. Enough to even have another war like the Battle of the Bastards, or the Jollof Wars.

Debating masturbation is like asking who’s better between Messi and Ronaldo. Masses will defend Messi, equaled by those defending Ronaldo. There will be a lot of screaming and hollering from tongues that aren’t familiar with toothbrushes, from throats that haven’t tasted clean water (you think that sachet nonsense you drink is truly safe?) in many days. While the subjects of discussion are probably in Seychelles with their families, maybe even sharing a cold glass of Billionaire Vodka while each studies his ratings.

This article, however, will teach you all about masturbation, including its definition, procedure (like you need help with that, lol) as well as good and bad effects.

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What Is Masturbation?

Masturbation is a process the act of solely stimulating your sexual organ(s) for pleasure to achieve orgasm. There are several slang for it. Wanking. Jerking off. Beating the monkey. Caressing the one-eyed dragon. Shaking hands with the milkman. Manual override. Celebrating Palm Sunday. Downstairs DJ. Tapping into your potential. Giving yourself a hand.

Now you know what the 18+ tag up there is for.

While masturbation is rumored to be an act mainly perpetrated by teenage boys, studies show that a healthy percentage of females also masturbate. Even adults.

What Happens To Your Body During Masturbation?

Masturbation causes your body to release a number of hormones. These hormones include:

  • Dopamine: This is one of the “happiness hormones” that is related to your brain’s reward system
  • Endorphins: The body’s natural pain reliever, endorphins also have de-stressing and mood-boosting effects
  • Oxytocin: This hormone is often called the love hormone and is associated with social bonding
  • Testosterone: This hormone is released during sex to improve stamina and arousal. It’s also released when you have sexual fantasies
  • Prolactin: A hormone that plays an important role in lactation, prolactin also influences your mood and immune system

Masturbating can cause you to release healthy amounts of the above hormones, which is why it can positively affect your mood and physical health.

SEE: Blue Balls: Myth VS Reality

How To Masturbate


Feeling nervous before a date? Need to approach things from a non-sexual angle? Wishing to think with your brain and not your third leg? We’ve got you.

  • Find a private space and lock the doors for obvious reasons.
  • Find yourself some lotion or lube; shea butter works, too.
  • Squeeze a fat dollop of it onto your hand.
  • Free your member from its confines and caress slowly, leaving no stone (or should I say ball?) unturned.
  • Start stroking when it gets rigid, and only then.
  • Go slow even if you have jelly hands. Some of you work at construction sites all day. No amount of moisturizer will remove those calluses, and the last thing you want is a bruise on your most sensitive skin. Pleasure can switch to pain real quick.
  • Alternate your strokes. Slow then fast. Fast then slow. Variety is the spice of life.
  • Use your imagination. You don’t need pornography if you have an active imagination.
  • It is not a must that you bust, but try not to edge too often or you might end up with blue balls, and those can be a real pain in the…well, not ass.

Related: Blue Balls: Myth VS Reality


Simply follow the same procedures above and alter them where necessary based on the layout of your privates.

Congratulations, now you know the how-to on masturbation. You should be proud of yourself.

What You Need To Know About Masturbation

There’s a lot of conflicting information, including some myths and rumors, about whether masturbation is bad for you.

Know this: Whether you masturbate is up to you and only you. If you do, rest assured that doing so won’t cause any physical harm. And if you don’t, there’s no harm, no foul, for you either.

Here’s what you need to know about masturbation.

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Masturbation Aids Focus And Concentration

“Post-nut clarity” is really a thing. This is a situation where your brain suddenly feels focused after you have an orgasm.

Indeed, many people find that masturbating helps them concentrate better. As such, they might masturbate before working, studying, or taking a test.

There’s no scientific explanation for this, as it hasn’t been studied specifically. However, this sense of clarity and focus might be a result of feeling relaxed and happy after an orgasm.

Masturbation Reduces Stress And Anxiety

While oxytocin is commonly known as the “love hormone” and is associated with social bonding, it’s also associated with de-stressing and relaxation. Oxytocin plays an important role in regulating stress and reducing anxiety.

It does this by reducing blood pressure and lowering your cortisol levels. Cortisol is a hormone associated with stress.

So, if you’re hoping to relieve some tension after a tough day at work, masturbating might be a good relaxation technique.

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Helps You Sleep

Anecdotally, many people use masturbation to fall asleep and it’s no wonder. My favorite author used to say nothing makes a man more sleepy than a full belly and an empty…well, you get the idea.

Oxytocin and endorphins are associated with relaxation, so it makes sense that masturbation can help you sleep, especially if stress and anxiety are keeping you from getting some shut-eye.

Could Stir Guilty Feelings

Masturbation is considered a sin in some religions. There are also many societal stigmas attached to masturbation: Some people believe women shouldn’t masturbate, or that masturbation is immoral.

That’s not to mention the anxiety-inducing myths around masturbation.

There are rumors that masturbation causes you to go blind, or that it can cause you to grow hair on your hands — both completely false claims that seem to circulate widely among kids just starting puberty.

If you believe those things and go on to masturbate, you might experience feelings of guilt, anxiety, shame, or self-loathing afterward.

It’s totally okay to abstain from masturbation because of your personal beliefs, but if you want to work through feelings of guilt and masturbate without anxiety, talking to a therapist might help.

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Boosts Self-Esteem

For some, masturbating can be a way of practicing self-love, getting to know your body, and spending quality time on your own.

Because you’re learning to enjoy your own body and figuring out what feels pleasurable for you, masturbation can boost your self-esteem.

Improves Sex Life

There are some who don’t believe this is true. One important thing you need to know about masturbation is that frequent ministrations will not affect your sex life. It’s only when you combine masturbation with pornography that you begin to see a decline in your sex drive because you’re teaching your brain how to find pleasure in scripted sex rather than the natural spontaneous feeling of it.

In fact, many sex therapists suggest masturbating regularly, whether you’re single or partnered.

In addition to the physical benefits derived from masturbation, a boost to self-esteem coupled with relaxation can be great for your sex life.

As for your libido, there’s some evidence that masturbating can help you maintain a healthy sex drive. In fact, scientific studies link frequent vibrator use to a high sex drive and positive sexual function, as well as general sexual wellness. So ladies, be sure to vibrate.

Masturbating can help you figure out what’s pleasurable and exciting for you, which can help you show your partner what you enjoy.

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A Word From Battabox On Masturbation

Congratulations, reader. You have learned all you need to know about masturbation. Whether you should masturbate or not, I cannot say. That will depend on you, dear reader. But you should never feel pressured to masturbate. In some cases, semen retention is really helpful. Want to know all about it? Perhaps we’ll discuss that in my next article.

If you have any questions, let us know below.

Daniel Maxwell
Daniel Maxwellhttps://www.d-pari.com
Journalist. Researcher. Writer