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Side Chicks: The Problematic Third Wheel

For every relationship, there is that thing that keeps on causing problems. Is it your lack of communication? Your anger? The fact that you don’t listen to your partner? That bestie?

For some people, it’s the side chicks. The ultimate intruder in your relationship.

Who is a side chick?

A side chick is basically a mistress. Side chicks are the greatest nightmares for women in committed relationships or marriages. Men usually acquire women outside of their relationship for either s3x or money.

No one wants to be treated as the sidepiece, the one the man runs to when things are not okay with the main chick. Unfortunately, many women are aware of their status of being side chicks and are okay with it.

However, there are also some women who do not know that their “boyfriends” have serious partners at home and they are only there for fun time.

They think they are the main prize while the man is in the middle of another girl’s thighs.

Just as we have side chicks, there are also side-niggas, where a boy is treated as the side piece.

Oftentimes, it is said that side chicks are usually more of the man’s dreams. They usually chase other women based on their bodies and beauty.

SEE: Why Do Men Cheat?

Why side chicks? 

The truth is, when it comes to deception, some Nigerian men deserve an award because they possess the rare skill of making a woman think she is the only “significant person” in their lives when, in reality, she is the “other woman.”

Isn’t that trickery?

There is one reason why they want side chicks. 

Side Chicks: The Problematic Third Wheel - battabox.com

You’ve heard that phrase “I’m addicted and I just can’t get enough”. Men cannot get enough of women. Once they see that they can have another, they jump at the opportunity.

They probably don’t want stress. Most men who are married don’t want to engage in being questioned. Their side chicks are sort of peaceful.

READ: How To Spot A Gigolo

Signs of being a side chick

If you have a relationship and your man doesn’t do certain things to you in public or speak to you in a certain way, you need to question it. These are the signs that would instantly let you know if you’re a side chick.

He is always secretive

If your “boyfriend” acts weird with you, then this is a sign something is up. 

A man wouldn’t want to hide you from the world. Men love to brag about things they have. If he refuses to introduce you to his family members or never wants to meet your friends, he probably wants to keep hiding you.

He doesn’t even want to try to know you. Why? Because you’re not the main chick in the story. 

He Wants No PDA

Side Chicks: The Problematic Third Wheel - battabox.com

PDA (personal display of affection) is the core of relationships. Couples either kiss, hold hands, or generally act lovey-dovey to each other. 

While it’s not necessary for your boyfriend to kiss, hug, or grab you in public, he should perform specific actions that signal to the world that you are his. If he refuses to hold your hand or act in sweet ways, my dear something is up.

He doesn’t want people to see you with him. He may be hiding you from his girlfriend or even his wife.

SEE: How To Easily Attract Women

Never defines the relationship.

A typical boyfriend would have asked you out the proper way but you keep on wondering “who am I to you?”

Am I just to pass time? 

Defining a relationship can be very tricky, and men use this to their advantage. You two may be intimate and you may feel that there is something between you two but he doesn’t. He also avoids the question “Who am I to you?”

If he goes round and round in circles, you are nothing to him. He only sees you as an object of desire.

SEE ALSO: Why Do Men Cheat?

You have secret date spots

Yes! This is a huge sign and also a red flag! Why is he always telling you to come and meet him in the bush or beside the transformer or somewhere equally weird? Why? 

Side Chicks: The Problematic Third Wheel - battabox.com

Dating a guy that only takes you on a date to a place no one knows or people hardly patronize hints that he is either ashamed to be seen with you or wants to avoid running into someone he knows.

If you’re a side chick, he probably won’t take you to populous places.

He avoids communication 

When a man avoids communicating with you, there is a problem.

If he takes longer to answer your text messages, returns your calls, or is always whispering, my dear, you’re a side chick! He will then call you and be like “Yo, today was a lot to handle”.

No Femi, today wasn’t enough. You were with another woman!

SEE: Score a Date: The Online Toast Formula to Win Her Heart 

You don’t know much about him

Side Chicks: The Problematic Third Wheel - battabox.com

When your friends ask you about your boyfriend, you cannot say anything beyond his name, the type of car he drives, and probably his house.

Every time you want to find out more about him, he will claim that you’re talking too much or say “we’ll know as we go on”

My dear, you are a side chick. He is not trying to tell you so much because he has someone else. 

READ ALSO: Things to Know About Polygamy in Nigeria

No pictures of him

Side Chicks: The Problematic Third Wheel - battabox.com

Which man doesn’t like to strike a pose when you try to take a picture with him? Pictures may not matter but they play a role in your relationship. Pictures are evidence of your relationship. 

Unfortunately, to cover up the trail of deceit and tricks, many men avoid taking pictures with their side chicks to prevent them from reaching the eyes of social media users.

Beware that he is preparing grounds for denial when you accuse him of dating you.

SEE: Naijanomics: What it is, and How to Know if You’ve Been Infected

How to stop being a side chick

Men would never admit that you’re a side chick, except if you know the situation and accept it. If you’re tired of not being the only person on his radar, then you need to accept your fault and move on from the situationship.

There is no point asking him to leave the other girl; if he wanted to, he would have. Men do not waste time chasing happiness. 

If possible, take some time off dating or you can get out there and get someone else! Replace that guy!

Conclusion

We know it can be embarrassing and annoying to be the side piece – the one he calls when he needs some action. You will have concerns about your self-esteem. But it is better to leave the “relationship” and the man.

Girl, there are other men in the sea and they are waiting to shower you with all the love and care in the world. Leave these trifling greedy men!

You deserve the world! 

Oluwatoyin Odunuyi
Oluwatoyin Odunuyihttps://linktr.ee/ToyinAjua
Oluwatoyin Eria-Ajua Odunuyi resides in the bustling city of Lagos, Nigeria. In 2020, she received a BSc in Mass communication from Caleb University and specialized in print journalism. Toyin loves to write romance novels because she is obsessed with living in a never-ever-land and often lives through her books. She presently owns a 5-year blog called "An Inclusive Kind world" where she speaks on Autism and society's role in pushing for awareness and inclusion.