“Babe, do I look fat in these jeans?”
That, my brothers, is a trick question. And any man with an ounce of sense in his head knows this. No matter the response you give, there’s bound to be some trouble. Oh, you think I’m lying? Oya, provide the right answer to this question.
Yes?
You’ll hear a sermon about how she’s not sure you love her anymore and how you don’t care about her feelings. Is your answer No? Not so smart bro. You’ll spend the whole day trying to assure her that your eye pupils have not gotten cornier (hehehe).
Oh, You love her the way she is?
This is probably the worst answer because she’ll feel like you are obviously lying and your love for her is blinding and you can’t see well. Are you confused? Didn’t I warn you it’s a trick question?
Women have a knack for asking questions to which there is no correct answer (e shock you?). They place you on a slippery slope, watch you slide down, and allow keep digging your grave; they even hand you the shovel. It’s a serious issue.
So, comrades, gather around and lend your ear. This article will save you from unnecessary pleadings and prevent you from falling into the trap of your baby lady. If you are one of those guys who feels that “my woman deserves 100% honesty”, you are wrong.
There are things you should never tell your girlfriend.
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10 things you should never tell your girlfriend
“Wow, she’s beautiful”
Remember that time the both of you were walking in the mall, and as you walked past a woman, she immediately goes, “Aww, she’s cute. What do you think, babe?”
My brother, think nothing. Never join your girl in complimenting another woman. Act like you didn’t see a damn thing. Change the topic because at that point there is no right answer.
If you want to be a gentleman and acknowledge the beauty, you just performed visual fornication. If you want to be a lover and affirm no woman is as beautiful as yours, she will drag you back to the question like a terrible User interface. You are going nowhere (don’t get me started on the User experience).
Stay woke!
SEE: How to Know If You Are Dating Yourself
“You are overreacting”
Whether it’s when she’s angry with someone or there is an issue on her mind that you find trivial, whatever the reason is, your immediate reaction to your woman’s reaction on an issue is to either let her see that she’s right momentarily and attack the issue head-on later or find a way to let her be for the time being.
If you make the mistake of telling her she’s overreacting, this is how your guardian angel will carefully excuse you.
Ever seen a lioness growl at the lion and the lion excuses gently itself from the situation? Learn from the animals, bro. There are things you should never tell your girlfriend, and this is one of them.
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“That time of the month?”
My brother, nothing concerns you with that bit of information.
“But why”, you ask. “She’s my girlfriend and I love her”. Well, thank God for your life and the gift of everlasting love, but have you ever thought about what would happen if she isn’t on her period? You’ve just carelessly insinuated that she is unstable and tough to be with anytime she is on her period.
The simple solution to this is to assume that every day is that time of the month for your woman. This will put you in a consistent mode of preparedness and you deal with any issue that might arise clearly.
“Why can’t you be like…”
He who has an ear, let him hear what I’m saying. You should never in any situation compare your woman to any other female that is alive, dead or somewhere in-between. To your woman, she is the best for you and you have no business wishing she imitates another character from someone somewhere.
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Whenever you have reservations about her, ensure to talk to her about it without pointing out an exact role model you’d like for her. If you go against this rule, I can assure you of a long-lasting reminder of the wrong you did.
“I am tired of your behavior”
At this point comrades, it doesn’t matter what moral ground you were standing on or how angry you are at her display. You just lost the battle.
The apology table is immediately turned and you must forget whatever you were angry about.
Those six not-so-magical words summarize to her that you cannot bear her anymore. You’ve been thinking about it before saying it out, and you are tired of her. In fact, you have started cheating on her.
Do you see that ripple effect? Pick your words carefully.
“You look like…”
This is a rookie mistake, bro. No matter how your woman looks, she believes she should be the most beautiful woman in the world to you and that is beyond comparison. Forget Rihanna, Jennifer Aniston, or Yemi Alade, she is the most beautiful there is.
So, whenever she pops any question that compares her with any other female, sit back, breathe in, breathe out, and say this:
“I will not justify that question with an answer. Never compare yourself to anyone again. I’m pained that you’d ask that”.
Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all? Your babe!
Leave it at that, but don’t say too much so she won’t suspect you know the tricks.
SEE: Red Flags In Relationships You Must Not Ignore
“There was a time I lied to you..”
What good did you think coming out about a lie you once told her would do?
The past should stay in the past bro. I’m in no way promoting infidelity, so I suggest you stay clear of anything that would make you lie to your girlfriend.
If you ever happen to lie to your babe and you feel bad about it, change! Just don’t give in to that moral sense in you that makes you feel telling her is the solution. No, no, and no! This is one of the things you should never say to your girlfriend.
You will just open a portal of doubt, mistrust, and malice.
“A family member or your family dislikes her”
I don’t know about you, but my peace of mind is paramount and non-negotiable. It’s no news that your babe will definitely meet some resistance from some of your family members. The logical thing to do then is to find a way to bring both parties into a consensus for your sake.
Alerting your wife about the dislike towards her would only make her worried, which will make her start checking herself for flaws. You’ll want to assure her of how flawless she is and how she matters to you but she wouldn’t care one bit. Her mind is fixated on your family.
“No”
It’s important to remember that as a man, you have to maintain some level of firmness on issues. But, your babe does not care about that.
The word “no” does not exist in the dictionary that binds you both, and she will not hesitate to throw tantrums when you are sensible enough to tell her “no”.
”You won’t understand”
Did you just say she’s foolish? How dare you, after everything she has done for you?
That’s how it’s going to be. Whatever it is you are going through, ensure you find a way to explain it to her, so she does not feel left out. Women see themselves as empathetic and pride themselves on the thought that they will understand whatever magnitude of information you might drop on them.
READ: How To Easily Attract Women
Whether that is true or not, ensure you satisfy her mental carving. Telling her she will not understand is one of the things you should never say to your girlfriend.
Popular trick questions you should avoid
“Do I look fat?”
As we said, there is no right answer here. But, I won’t leave you empty-handed. When faced with such a question, reply to her with a question too e.g,
What do you think? Do you look fat?
”What day is it today?”
When she asks you this question, just know that you have missed an important event. Start thinking before you even deign to answer this question.
ALSO READ: How To Spot A Gigolo
“Do you love me?”
Choose the next words that come out of your mouth very carefully. Why? It will determine where the relationship is heading.
If you think the answer is simply yes, my brother in the Lord, think again.
“Am I not enough for you?”
Trick question. You must understand that this question was borne out of an issue and your answer might very well determine the future.
In conclusion
These are some of the things you should never say to your girlfriend. Navigating a relationship is no different from navigating a mine field; there are traps everywhere, and any misstep will see the entire thing blow up in your face.
However, there is also a little unknown trick to win the battle; answer questions with questions of your own. This will give you a framework of the unknown place you have suddenly found yourself, and give you enough time to provide an answer.
Yes, it will not always work (you’re dealing with a woman, after all), but it will equip you with ammunition to answer. And just in case it all blows up in your face, you can check out the article below:
How To Handle Coming Out as Gay In Nigeria
Who knows… maybe the other side is your calling.
