If you’re an adult, you will agree with me that making friends as an adult is a daunting task. But then it can be done, and in this article, we’ll give you some tips.
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Many adults get used to waiting until someone comes their way before they dive into friendships. The challenge of moving to a new city can sometimes make it tiring to start a new cycle of friends.
There’s that emotional stress and fear of being vulnerable that comes to you whenever you think of friendship as an adult, right? This can happen unconsciously sometimes, especially if you have a bias against people around you.
Making friends as an adult isn’t popular, too, thanks to many people who think everyone should mind their business and social media, which gives people a false sense of closeness.
This article will look at everything about friendship as an adult, what it takes and how you can make friends as an adult. Practically everything you need to know about making friends as an adult
So sit tight as we take this ride.
What is adult friendship?
Many adults think they have a whole lot of friends, but in reality, all they have are Pseudo-friends, acquaintances, neighbors, colleagues, or church members, all minding their own business.
Another thing to note is that not all fans are friends. He likes all your posts and follows you on Instagram isn’t friendship.
I’ll tell you what adult friendship is
Adult friendship is a deliberate action of adult individuals to build intimacy, trust, and affection between themselves.
Now, that sounded a bit far, right? However, different stages of friendship demand different levels of trust, intimacy, and affection.
What makes making friends as an adult hard?
There are various reasons why making friends as an adult may be hard. I’ll give you some you should consider as explanations, not excuses, and you can move on from there.
Internet
I’m not anti-internet, and I believe the internet has done more good for us all. But let’s face the fact. Some adults surf the internet and play so many computer games they lose touch with the people around them.
There’s so much to occupy us on the internet, so much to watch and laugh about that can make you ignore chats or people and never invest much time in knowing others.
Nobody talks about it.
When I was a child, my teachers and parents cared so much about how I mingled with others. It was a show of good development if I could interact and have friends or pairs.
So much has changed now that I am an adult, plus the COVID-19 saga that brought social distancing. There’s not so much talk about adult friendships.
Sometimes society suggests that being alone is better and faster for reaching life goals. But even the toughest minds need friends at some difficult times.
Busy lives
There are bills to pay, office work to attend to, the kids, the laundry, and a host of other duties. You should be thinking, what a waste of time to spend on knowing someone.
Great friendships don’t just happen over the years. You’ll need to make efforts out of your busy schedule to get acquainted with the people around you.
The emotional stress
Months after my family and I relocated to another city, I couldn’t make any friends because I didn’t see anyone who was exactly like my previous friends, and it was so difficult to go through the process of getting to know people from the beginning.
This is another factor that can make adults run from friendships. Old friends might have wronged you, or new ones scare you. Nevertheless, we all need friends.
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How to make friends as an adult
Here are 6 ways or perhaps advice which can help you make friends as an adult
- Be friendly
- Make efforts
- Be ready to try out new things
- Be easygoing and sincere about life
- Deepen your relationships with individuals around you
- Let it be about others
Be friendly
A popular quote says, “he who wants to make friends must first be friendly.”
Some of us don’t notice how uptight and serious we always look. If you ever had the opportunity to see yourself while you navigated through life, then you’ll not be surprised why people never approach you for friendships.
If you have an aggressive tone of voice, you need to check that. If you don’t smile, then learn how to.
You must be as nice as you envision your friends to be. And the little secret is that being nice doesn’t hurt at all.
Make efforts
You’re not going to get anywhere without conscious effort. Having a friendship goal is a great way to start.
- Study people around you
- Know their personality traits
- Try to know what they like,
- Know their love languages
- Show little deeds of kindness
- Attempt to win their love and sympathy
You may be misunderstood sometimes but keep up the good work, love begets love, and love always wins. Trust, intimacy, and affection must be studiously nurtured if a friendship grows.
Be ready to try out new things
I had never hiked before until I packed into my new area, where some youths decided to go hiking. For a while, I thought about the distance and stress. But I took courage, and I joined the company.
Oh, it was thrilling, and I now have a lot of friends from that activity.
Even if you are a couch potato, you need to try out a new thing or maybe invent them. You never know how much fun you’ve missed if you never try.
Be easygoing and sincere about life
If you want to be friendly, you need to be easygoing and talk about life from a sincere perspective. You should share your problems with your friends. You should be vulnerable sometimes.
Vulnerability breaks down invisible social walls and makes other people feel okay to talk about their problems without the fear of being judged or rejected.
I know some people who are uptight and very competitive. They are never sincere about life or honest about their challenges. They present a sort of 100% perfect life to everyone when they are dying inside.
Uptight and insincere will naturally keep you alone and alone for a long time.
Deepen your relationships with people around you
If you only said “good morning” to your neighbors or colleagues, you can add a “how are you” or “how is your family.”
The point here is to take another step toward knowing someone. Ask about the kids, his car, or his pet. Invite them over for a meal or a TV show.
They may feel awkward at first, but love always wins.
Let it be about others
Never come to a gathering and talk about yourself. Allowing no one else to talk make friendship boring.
Gush! You want to get to know someone. Why do you talk so much about yourself? If the person seems introverted, ask questions and let the person answer.
15 helpful quotes to help you make a friend as an adult
Read through these special quotes, and you’ll find inspiration to make more friends.
You can choose to memorize a couple of them to help you in your friendship pursuit.
Goodluck
- “Find a group of people who challenge and inspire you; spend a lot of time with them, and it will change your life.”
– Amy Poehler
- “I get by with a little help from my friends
– The Beatles
- “For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone.”
– Audrey Hepburn
- “In the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, for in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed.”
– Khalil Gibran
- “Close friends are truly life’s treasures. Sometimes they know us better than we know ourselves.”
– Vincent Van Gogh
- “Friendship isn’t a big thing—it’s a million little things.”
– Paul Coelho
- “We need old friends to help us grow old and new friends to help us stay young.”
– Letty Cottin Pogrebin
- “A friend may be waiting behind a stranger’s face.”
– Maya Angelou
- “The best gift anyone can give, I believe, is the gift of sharing themselves.”
– Oprah Winfrey
- A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly.
– Proverbs 18:24
- “Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain. It’s not something you learn in school. But if you haven’t learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven’t learned anything.”
– Muhammad Ali
- “Awards become corroded. Friends gather no dust.”
– Jesse Owens
- “It’s not what we have in life, but who we have in our life that matters.”
– Unknown
- “A friend is one of the best things you can be and the greatest things you can have.”
– Sarah Valdez
- “When the world is so complicated, the simple gift of friendship is within all of our hands.”
– Maria Shriver
Places to make friends as an adult
If you would like to open up to new places, check out the list below to learn where you can start making friends.
- Register in a gym
- Your neighborhood is a good place to start to
- Join church activities and visit other members
- A social club can help too
- A book club
- Join an NGO
- Check out online friendship platforms
- If you’re a parent, you can make friends with the parents of your kids’ friends.
There are a lot more places you can make friends if you consider it for a while, you’ll remember a lot more.
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Making friends as an adult may be difficult, but you will thank yourself when you are done. You would have gotten someone to walk through life with.
