Food is life, a wise man once said. And a lot of people (not me) have taken this as The Truth, and treat their meals with the same reverence one would soft Agege bread. Okay, I guess that’s a syllogism since Agege bread is also food, but… you get the idea.
However, the point is, while we’re choosing our food with care, there are some hardcore people who engage in culinary BDSM. They have birthed some of the worst Nigerian food combos because they like to live on the edge, and they frequently apply that lawless lifestyle to their meals, because why would you…
Now, if you’re one of these people, you need to give your life to Christ and change your ways. And drink a carton of bleach to cleanse your insides. If you’re not, then welcome. Feast your eyes on the horrors that Nigerians have been fomenting in the name of nutrition.
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Worst Nigerian Food Combos that Will Make You Go Ugh!
1. Beans and Noodles
Yeah, that’s right; we’re starting with the big guns.
Can you see how scared the beans look? See how they’re huddled together in the horror show they suddenly found themselves.
This food combination arose from the aftermath of sapa’s war of hunger against Nigerian students. Noodles are a common provision for Nigerian students, and everyone knows that nothing births improvisation more than desperation.
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That being said, no self-respecting beans should ever find themselves in this kind of situation. So, if you eat this, you’re racist against legumes and you should be purged.
2. Bread and Noodles
This monstrosity can also be laid at the foot of the Great Sir Pa of Brokelyn, and just goes to show how merciless he is.
According to the legend, a guy came back to his hostel one day, famished beyond recognition, and all he had to his name was one packet of noodles. Of course, that cannot be enough, so he borrowed some bread from his roommate and decided that 2+2 can definitely be 5.
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And it was all downhill from there. Suffice to say this is one of the worst Nigerian food combos you can come across. And we pray that we will never find ourselves in this young man’s situation.
3. Eba and Beans
Before I go off, I have a small question for the people that eat this horror: when you take a lump, do you swallow everything together, or do you respect the beans and chew a little?
Now that we’ve got that out of the way, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE? And why is the chicken there? Do you think that will lend some semblance of dignity to… that?
4. Rice and Okro
Why? WHY? WHYYYYY??? Who came up with this eyesore, and how can we help you? Or put you out of your misery? Because if this isn’t one of the worst Nigerian food combos, then I don’t know what is.
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5. Bread and Pap
What is it about Nigerians and the idea that bread is a universal donor? Or is it bread itself that is greedy and can’t keep his hands to himself? Is akara, tea or beans not enough for him?
6. Spaghetti and Beans
They call it “spagewa”, a macabre imitation of the loving union of rice and beans. I call it “stay the hell away from me, you ***************************************”.
7. Bread and Pepper Soup
Well, stew is a form of soup, right? Therefore, going by the “2+2=5” logic, then pepper soup is also a form of stew.
Anything can make sense if you want it to, especially if you’re a hungry man.
8. Rice and Yam
The only reason you should be caught eating this STRONG contender for the worst of the worst Nigerian food combos is if you’re a bricklayer and you need to build a house within twenty-four hours.
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9. Bread and Toothpaste
How the purpose of toothpaste drifted from teeth whitening to nutrition is a mystery. Points for creativity, though.
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Worst Nigerian food combos: The horror continues
- Pap and okro soup: You deserve a medal if you’re brave enough to let this pass down your throat.
- Noodles and bread with custard: This is just gluttonous. Why not just wait and eat one after the other? Either noodles and egg, or custard and bread. What am I even saying?
- Bread and locust beans
- Bread and ewedu soup
- Bread and palm oil: It is now evident that bread is not just greedy; he is a terrorist
- Cornmeal (eko) and palm oil
- Pancakes and custard
- Rice and bread
- Garri with biscuits, especially fibre active
- Amala and tea: Okay wtf!
- Beans and okro, plus mango juice: I wonder what the purpose of the mango juice is
- Eba and water: Just admit that sapa is your bestie and know peace. Because this has moved away from the realm of worst Nigerian food combos and into the vicinity of poverty.
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- Beans and milk porridge
- Amala with plantain and salad: Local meets continental, and plantain is the middleman
- Fufu with beans
- Garri with rice and soup
- White rice with fried eggs (no pepper): Like that makes it better
- Semovita and gala: So, despite all the hate that semo gets, you still have to do it dirty and pair it with gala
- Rice and red oil: Okay, that’s it. We’re done
Worst Nigerian food combos: These should not be wrapped up
They say one man’s food is another man’s poison. Well, in this case, it’s literal.
That being said, if your gag reflex is not in a constant state of flux by now, then you’re probably one of those people who have a tendency to become serial killers.
Have a nice day.
