When it comes to confidence vs arrogance, it can be a little tricky to tell them apart. No? Okay, let’s dissect it.
When you think of confidence, what comes to mind? A person who is sure of their abilities, right? Someone who knows what they’re capable of and refuses to let anyone tell them otherwise. Now, what about arrogance? Similar picture or not?
This is because the behaviors of a confident person and an arrogant one often look the same from an outward perspective. Both individuals will have no problem speaking up for themselves. They may seem like they’ve got everything figured out, and have no problem with owning their strengths.
However, the difference exists. It might be subtle, but it’s palpable. And while we may not be able to describe what it looks like, but we can certainly point it out.
But first, definitions, definitions, definitions.
Confidence vs Arrogance: Definitions
The visual — and even behavioral — distinction between confidence and arrogance is hard to pinpoint. When you try to imagine it, you likely think of a person that embodies each of these traits.
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But, to make it easy to digest, don’t think of confidence vs arrogance as mutually exclusive concepts. They’re not. Instead, they’re more like particles that exist along the same spectrum.
If you don’t know what a particle or spectrum is, this is where I get to throw the jibe about science students being the smartest.
Anyways, back to the spectrum; arrogance sits on one end. This is when a person has an exaggerated sense of their own importance because they believe they’re better than everyone else around them.
Now, don’t get me wrong; they could indeed be important. They could be managers or leaders or class captains. In fact, many arrogant leaders are critical to the success of their organizations, with the skills to back it up. However, along with this arrogance comes the need to be at the center of everything.
If arrogance is on one end of the spectrum, then self-deprecation lies on the other. People with this behavior downplay their own skills, abilities, and accomplishments, and it’s common in almost everybody, especially when we don’t want to come off as arrogant. So we use casual self-put-downs to manage other people’s impressions of us.
Then, in the middle of that spectrum sits confidence, the simple belief in yourself and your abilities without any of the additional accouterments.
Confidence is simple, as it comes with a positive self-image, self-awareness, and assertiveness. Confident people have a strong sense of both their strengths and areas for improvement. But instead of getting insecure about these weaknesses, they reach out for support.Â
A confident person is never afraid to ask for help.
SEE: Easy Ways To Build Confidence
Confidence vs Arrogance: Key Similarities
Both confidence and arrogance are related to self-esteem, the way that a person feels about themselves. However, while confidence comes from a high intrinsic value and understanding that achievements, failures, or the opinions of others shouldn’t affect self-worth, arrogance comes from a sense of superiority over others.
And unfortunately, the only way to maintain that superior status is to keep others in their (so-called) place.
Confidence vs Arrogance: Differences
| Confidence | Arrogance |
| Feeling self-assured | Feeling self-important |
| Humble about strengths and accomplishments | Brags about strengths and accomplishments |
| Team player who encourages colleagues | Focuses on their own goals and doesn’t support team members |
| Takes responsibility for their own actions and mistakes | Shifts responsibility for mistakes to others |
| Uplifts colleagues | Discourages colleagues |
| Exhibits positive self-esteem | Feels superior to others |
READ ALSO: Types Of Personalities
Confidence vs Arrogance: How to Be Confident And Not Arrogant
Own your achievements
Even when the praise is deserved, those on the self-deprecating end of the spectrum tend to downplay their own achievements so they don’t come off as arrogant. It’s a fair concern — nobody likes a showoff — but you could be doing more damage if you have trouble owning your achievements. Because, in its extreme, self-deprecation can be a form of self-sabotage.
Therefore, you can — and should — have awareness and appreciation of your strengths. That’s not cockiness. It’s the natural, other side of the coin when you have an appreciation of your flaws.
Own your feedback
In the argument of confidence vs arrogance, confidence is believing in yourself and your own abilities without needing validation from others. However, this doesn’t mean you should completely disregard others’ opinions.
You can learn from their feedback, even if you don’t agree with it.
Use your abilities to help or teach team members
Confident people know that we rise by lifting others is not just for Davido alone; it’s a mantra. And they live by it. When they work with others, they work as part of the team and, unlike arrogant people, are not threatened by others’ success.
No man is an island. So, if you have advanced knowledge of a certain task, teach it to your team members. This may also motivate them to teach you valuable skills of their own.
Learn to accept constructive criticism
Criticism can sometimes feel discouraging, especially when it’s on something you feel you’ve nailed. However, unlike arrogant people who see it as a slight of their abilities, confident people focus on the strengths and skills they’re proud of.
Being able to take feedback and criticism is a hallmark of a confident person.
When it comes to a team task, an arrogant person hogs all the praise but deflects the blame. A confident person, however, shares the praise and takes accountability of things don’t go smoothly.
Allow others to help you
To an arrogant person, asking for help is a sign of weakness.
However, confident people have no qualms about receiving help that they know they need. If your someone offers their assistance and you know you could benefit from it, you should have the humility to accept it.
CHECK: 10+ Signs You Are An Introvert
FAQs on Confidence vs Arrogance
Can confidence be mistaken for arrogance?
When it comes to confidence vs arrogance, they can be easily confused with one another. However, people tend to think positively about confident people, and, in contrast, arrogant individuals often receive a negative perception from others.
How do you separate confidence from arrogance?
1. Know your strengths and weaknesses. Confidence doesn’t stem from having lots of strengths or being the best.
2. Be mindful of others.
3. Track successes and failures.
4. Develop good friendships.
5. Talk less, listen more.
Am I confident or cocky?
Confident people relish achievement and contributing their talents to the world. They don’t feel threatened by others’ successes and instead try to learn from them.
Cocky people, however, need to believe that they are on top even if reality says otherwise.
How do I know if I’m arrogant?
You’ll know that you’re arrogant when you:
1. Desire to be heard, rather than to hear what others have to say. 2. Believe that you’re right and the other person is wrong even when evidence points otherwise.
3. You go out of your way to be right
4. You think your status is more important than whatever contribution you make
5. You have a hard time self-reflecting
6. You love to be talked about
How can you tell if someone is confident?
1. They listen better and more often than they speak.
2. They aren’t afraid to be wrong.
3. They don’t wait for opportunities to be handed to them but instead strive for them.
4. They don’t seek the spotlight.
5. They seek approval from only the best sources.
SEE: 5 Easy Ways To Win Any Argument
Wrapping Up Confidence vs Arrogance
Hey, Michael Scott (whoever he is) done said it all.
Confidence is positive, a quiet assurance that you can handle whatever comes your way. It comes from self-awareness and knowing that your intrinsic value isn’t based on external circumstances. Arrogance is the opposite.
Confidence vs arrogance are like two sides of the same coin, but with confidence, you know what you’re worth and you don’t need anybody to tell you otherwise. Also, you don’t need to put others down to feel good about yourself.
