Hey! You wanna hear a good roast? Promise me you won’t hurt? It can get pretty personal and harsh real quick. Are you ready? After such build-up, I’m sure you’d want it to be a damn good roast. Here it comes, “Most mistakes can be corrected. You are the exception to the rule”. oooooooo
If you didn’t close the article after that, you are fit and able to continue this reading. A roast is a form of humour in which a specific individual, a guest of honour, is subjected to jokes at their expense. Now that you know what a roast is, what is a good roast?
A good roast is that roast that takes sensitive parts of one’s life and carelessly humorises it. A good roast does not consider friendship or any form of relationship. All that matters is that you understand everything said is for fun.
You might think that it is easy because everyone knows it is harmlessly intended. The more personal one gets, the more you are likely to get pained.
However, the first rule of a roast is never to take it personally. Both parties involved in a roast, the roaster and the roasted, have different roles to play. The roaster must ensure every roast is keen on demoralising the roast. It has to be personal. What is a good roast if it’s not personal?
The roasted should be a good boy, and take what you get. Now, let’s get into the work for today. You will get 40+ roasts that can be used in your next roast session. Ensure to be clever when using it. I won’t cover any damages incurred.
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20 Good Roasts
1. If humour was a crime, you’d be serving a life sentence.
2. I’ve heard you’re an expert at multitasking. You can do nothing and annoy me at the same time.
3. You have an uncanny ability to make everyone else feel like an intellectual giant.
4. They must have meant cubic zirconia When they said you were a rare gem.
5. Your face could launch a thousand ‘Unfriend’ clicks.
6. I’d call you a genius, but I’m afraid it might go to your head, which is already disproportionately large.
7. I’ve seen more intelligence in a bag of rocks, and at least the rocks have some weight to them.
8. “If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on the planet.”
9. “I bet your family crest is just a picture of an empty wallet.”
10. “You’re proof that evolution can go in reverse.”
11. “If you were any slower, we’d have to water you twice a week.”
12. “You’re like a password—difficult to figure out and completely unnecessary.”
13. “It’s impressive how you’ve mastered the art of talking without saying anything.”
14. “Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because it looks like you hit every branch on the way down.”
15. “Your social skills are so refreshing. It’s like watching a fish ride a bicycle.”
16. “I’d say you’re a ‘people person,’ but it’s more accurate to call you an ‘avoid-people person.”
17. “You have a face made for radio and a voice made for silent movies.”
18. “The only thing you’ve ever been consistent at is being consistently wrong.”
19. “You must have been vaccinated with a phonograph needle because all you do is needle people.”
20. “If sarcasm were a superpower, you’d be a superhero.”
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20 Savage Roasts
21. “You have a mind like a steel trap—nothing gets in or out.”
22. “You’re the reason they invented spell-check.”
23. “You’re proof that laughter is not always the best medicine.”
24. “I’ve met doorstops with higher IQs than you.”
25. “You’re living proof that a picture is worth a thousand words; in your case, they’re all insults.”
26. “You’re the human embodiment of a participation award.”
27. “Your personality has more red flags than a Chinese parade.”
28. “You have the communication skills of a disconnected fax machine.”
29. “If you were a game show contestant, you’d be the one who guesses ‘B’ for every answer.”
30. “You’re the epitome of ‘all foam, no beer.”
31. “You must have been born on a highway because that’s where most accidents happen.”
32. “I’m surprised you’re still single. The dating pool must be terrified.”
33. “You’re a living, breathing example of why some animals eat their young.”
34. “If stupidity were an art form, you’d be Picasso.”
35. “You have the charisma of a damp paper towel.”
36. “I’d call you a diamond in the rough, but you’re more like a cubic zirconia in a pile of manure.”
37. “If they held a contest for the most average person in the world, you’d come in second place, just because you’re not even good at being average.”
38. “I’ve heard that your personality is like a black hole: devoid of any light or interesting qualities.”
39. “Your ability to misunderstand the simplest concepts is truly impressive. It’s like watching a dog try to solve a Rubik’s Cube.”
40. “You have a face for radio and a voice for silent films, but unfortunately, no talent for either.”
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20 Good Roasts That Rhymes
41. You’re so dull. You make me yawn, a living example of a clueless pawn.
42. Your IQ is in the basement, your brain cells all but vacant.
43. Your style is whack, and your personality is slack, a complete and utter lack.
44. You’re a walking disaster, a master of incompetence and laughter.
45. Your words are weak, and your future looks bleak, a prime example of being meek.
46. You think you’re cool, but you’re just a fool, a pathetic tool.
47. Your ideas are lame, your presence a shame, a never-ending game.
48. Your wit is feeble, your thoughts are unstable, a walking fable.
49. You’re so slow. It’s painful to watch, a true life botch.
50. Your skills are rusty, your potential dusty, a failure so gusty.
51. You’re a walking mistake, a joke that no one wants to partake.
52. Your charm is fake, your actions a mistake, a person to forsake.
53. Your efforts are in vain, your mind a constant drain, a social stain.
54. You’re all talking, no substance, a true example of nonsense.
55. Your taste is tragic, your behaviour erratic, a fool so static.
56. Your rhythm is off, your presence a cough, a person to scoff.
57. Your ideas are weak, your future looks bleak, a path you’ll never seek.
58. Your words are hollow. Your actions follow a person to wallow.
59. You’re so lazy. It’s crazy, a life so hazy.
60. Your style is outdated, your presence overrated, and you are a person so jaded.
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20 Good Roasts That Can Be Used In Schools and Parties.
61. You’re so clever. You must have a PhD to forget your homework.
62. Your handwriting is a work of art… abstract art.
63. If there was a Nobel Prize for daydreaming, you’d be a strong contender.
64. You have a remarkable talent for turning a simple math problem into a full-blown mystery.
65. Your attention span is shorter than a Snapchat story.
66. I didn’t know it was possible to sleep with your eyes open until I met you.
67. Your backpack is like a black hole—everything goes in, but nothing ever comes out.
68. You have a unique ability to make even the most exciting topics sound boring.
69. Your excuse for not doing the assignment was so creative. It should be in a museum.
70. You’re the undisputed champion of asking, “Is this going to be on the test?” before every lesson.
71. Did anyone invite you to the party, or did you just come to test everyone’s patience?
72. Wow, your dancing skills are quite impressive. I had no idea someone could have two left feet and still manage to step on mine.
73. Congratulations on being the unofficial party photographer. I can’t wait to see the unflattering shots you captured of all of us.
74. I heard you’re a regular at parties, but it seems you misunderstood the term “party animal” for “party nuisance.”
75. Your party stories are so riveting that they should come with a warning label: “May cause extreme boredom and excessive yawning.”
76. You’re the real MVP when it comes to emptying the snack bowls. It’s like you have a secret mission to leave no chip unturned.
77. I admire your dedication to conversations, especially the ones you have with yourself in the mirror.
78. It’s impressive how you manage to be fashionably late to every party, without actually being fashionable.
79. Your jokes are like helium balloons—full of hot air and always floating above everyone’s heads.
80. You bring a unique skill to every party: the ability to turn any topic into a long, monotonous lecture.
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20 Good Comebacks That Can Be Used Against Roasts
81. I would have wiped it off your chin if I wanted a comeback.
82. I’m sorry, I don’t have the time or the crayons to explain this to you.
83. I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you were an expert in everything except your own life.
84. Is your drama going to have an intermission, or should we just leave now?
85. I’m not saying I’m perfect, but I’m pretty sure I’m not you.
86. Keep rolling your eyes; maybe you’ll find a brain back there.
87. It’s fascinating how you manage to keep talking when nobody is listening.
88. I could agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.
89. I may not be a mind reader, but I can definitely read the room, and everyone wants you to stop.
90. Somewhere out there, a tree is tirelessly producing oxygen for you. I think you owe it an apology.
91. I see your face is doing well; it must be on a winning streak considering how often you show it off.
92. It’s amazing how you’re able to run your mouth while your brain is on vacation.
93. I’d roast you, but I’m afraid your ego might go up in flames.
94. You’re like a cloud. When you disappear, it’s a beautiful day.
95. If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world.
96. I’m glad you find my life so interesting. I wish I could say the same about yours.
97. They say everyone has the right to be stupid, but you’re really abusing the privilege.
98. I’m not insulting you; I’m just describing you.
99. It’s impressive how you manage to keep up that level of delusion. Do you take lessons?
100. I would agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong, and I wouldn’t want to steal your thunder.
There you have it! 80 Good roast that would get the roasted thinking and 20 comebacks o help the roasted rise from the ruins. You must realize that a roast is usually between friends. Take everything lightly.
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Conclusion
Hey! You wanna hear a good roast? Promise me you won’t hurt? It can get pretty personal and harsh real quick. Are you ready?
Everyone has a purpose in this life, and yours is to become an organ donor. This means that you’d prefer to… I cannot finish it. Bye, guys!
