Who agrees with me that relationships these days are very tricky? The same person you could have known when you were still seeing each other could not be the same person you are when you date.
This is why it is important to ask questions in a new relationship.
Related: 60 Truth or Drink Questions For Your Next Hangout
Navigating a new relationship is exciting but can be very tricky business. How do you get to know someone on a deeper level while simultaneously winning them over? This is one of the reasons why I have drafted 21 questions for new relationships.
These questions to get to know someone can lead to the best dates ever and help you know if you’ve found the one. They’re filled with genuine intention and a strong desire to get to know the other person. What could be more charming than that?
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21 questions for a new relationship
1. Are you looking to start a new relationship?
I consider this one of the best questions to ask someone before embarking on a new relationship. Don’t be fooled by the smiles and the positive responses to wanting to spend more time with you. Some people could be so nice or be looking for a pastime. That shouldn’t be you.
Ask them if they are looking for a serious relationship. You don’t want to waste your time.
Related: How To Be a Better Lover and Blossom In Your Love Life
2. What are your expectations for a partner?
This relationship question in a new relationship can help you lay your cards on the table. It can be difficult to get a proper read on a person. People hide a lot of things. Everyone is on their best behavior and likely trying to impress the other.
But at the end of the day, it’s uber important to understand if you’re on the same page. Laying expectations out clearly can give help you understand if you can live up to these expectations.
SEE: How to start a conversation with a girl
3. Do you have family?
To some people, family is everything, while others may not be as fortunate to have a close relationship. This is one of those questions to get to know someone that won’t make or break anything but simply give you a better understanding of where they come from and who they’re closest to in life.
Related: 50 Questions to Ask Your Girlfriend to Strengthen Your Bond
4. What word would you use to describe yourself?
Just by that one word can you know some things about your partner. If she says “understanding”, know that she can put others’ needs before hers. If the answer is “difficult”, then know that you’re in for a hell of a ride.
SEE: Four Types of Parenting: What you need to know
5. What’s your ideal date night?
In a new relationship, everything can feel exciting and fresh. But as the relationship continues, understanding what makes your partner feel most loved and appreciated can go a long way in showing that you truly care.
You need to understand your partner’s ideal date night early so that it can help you organize something special! Ask them if they want to be taken to the most expensive restaurant or if a nice chill night on the beach works. This is the foundation of a strong, long-lasting relationship.
Related: Red Flags In Relationships You Must Not Ignore
6. Have you ever been unfaithful?
For some people, being unfaithful isn’t necessarily a deal breaker, especially if your partner can own up to their past mistakes and are committed to changing. For others, it can be an endgame.
People can be unfaithful for a huge variety of reasons. But if they can be honest about it and are committed to learning from their previous mistakes, who knows? It may work. To me, it doesn’t really. Remember, “once a cheater, always a cheater.”
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7. How do you handle conflict?
Some people are raging lunatics when upset. They could scream at the top of their voice or most likely break something on your head.
Because of this, it is important to identify your conflict styles. This may potentially help you in avoiding conflict.
Whether you need to step away from the fight for a minute or talk things through in that moment, it helps to know before the fight takes hold.
8. What is your biggest inspiration in life?
This question can help you understand where your partner gets their inspiration, especially in a new relationship.
If they are obsessing over ridiculous things, this could tell you so much about them. But if they are inspired by family, great writers, or an internal motivation to change the world, you may find there’s slightly more substance to their intrinsic motivations.
Corny, but true.
SEE: 10 questions to ask your boyfriend
9. What are you most grateful for?
There are many things to be grateful for. It is wise for you to know what your potential partner holds dear.
Whether it’s family, friends, a good job, or even a roof over their heads, having an attitude of gratitude will carry a relationship far, especially if they can appreciate the little things in life.
Related: What Does It Mean When She Calls You Daddy? How to React
10. Do you want to start a family one day?
Not many people see marriage as the ideal ending, they may be looking for something temporary. Some may want to be married but not want kids. If you’re not on the same page about this, it can cause some setbacks.
It’s smart to ensure you have similar life desires from the beginning, so you know you’re both working towards mutual goals.
SEE: Love Language: Types and Importance
11. Do you still talk to your exes?
This is a major red flag for many people. But it also depends on the kind of relationship you have with such a person.
Maintaining a positive relationship with someone you’ve shared your life with isn’t bad, so long as the romantic feelings have dissipated. Though, if there are still sparks flying and some residual emotions, talking to exes is no different from playing with fire.
12. Where do you see yourself in the future?
Understanding your partner’s hopes and dreams for the future will allow you to understand if they align with your own.
Do they want a family? Do they want to travel and see the world? Is their career flexible? Do they see themselves in the exact same spot or somewhere completely new?
It’s smart to understand this from the start, so you’re not surprised when things start to go in a different direction down the line.
13. What do you do when you are sad?
It’s good to understand what helps your partner the most when they’re feeling really sad. Coping mechanisms can be anything from having a nice long cry in the shower or watching a raunchy comedy.
You need to understand their ways of dealing with negative emotions and if they are healthy.
SEE: Red Flags In Relationships You Must Not Ignore
14. When last were you tested for STDs?
This definitely isn’t the most fun of the questions for a new relationship, but it’s an important one all the same. It’s a perfectly reasonable question to ask as you begin to get more serious with someone. You don’t want to contact something all in the name of love.
Please ask and don’t necessarily take their word for it. People lie.
15. What’s the most important thing on your bucket list?
Many people have bucket lists and it involves doing fun things they wish to do. This is a fun question. Get an idea of their sense of adventure and what they love.
This is also something you guys will share in the future if it gets serious.
Related: How Soon is Too Soon To Move In?
16. What does friendship mean to you?
Friendship is very important to people. A lot of people take out time to foster healthy relationships with others, while others are lone wolves. Learn about their friends and how many friendships they have and maintained over the years.
This will also show that you will value their friends.
SEE: Friendship Breakups: Why They Happen and Hurt So Much
17. Do you believe in God?
This question is great to understand the person’s take on faith and religion. Prayer life and religion could be too specific. It is very important to ask this question just to see where they are on this.
18. If you had one day to live, what would you do?
This is also a great question to ask to know the kind of person you are dealing with. By answering this question, you would know what matters most to them and also their take on death.
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19. What do you spend money on?
Finances are very important for people. If you’re considering getting into a relationship with someone, it is very important you know how financially stable they are. Do they spend money on ridiculous things or what?
Get to know how financially smart they are.
20. What’s your love language?
It’s another most important thing to know about your new sweetheart. Knowing your beau’s love language will give you a clear idea of what specific things make them feel love the most and vice versa. Do they love quality time? Gift-giving? acts of service? Get to know them!
ALSO READ: Love Language: Types and Importance
21. What was your favorite game as a child?
Ask your partner about their childhood. It will help you gain insight into their childhood and understand their likes, dislikes, and common attributes between you two. Who knows? Maybe both of you liked the same game.
Or, for all you know, you might learn a new game alongside some new information about your partner.
Related: Tyrone’s Unblocked Games: All You Need To Know
22. Would you ever want to move in together?
This is a question that is very important. Some people wait till marriage to settle into their partners’ homes. Others do not.
You should know if your partner is open to stepping into your home.
SEE: How Soon Is Too Soon To Move In?
There you have it! 21 questions! Choose questions that will likely lead to more interesting conversations and stories. But if you need to ask yes-or-no type of questions, you can always ask a follow-up question to get the conversation flowing.
Don’t ask it all at once. Be very smart about it.
Let us know the ideal questions you asked your partner before getting into a relationship.