What is chivalry and is it dead today? Perhaps so, but it’s something many men can learn and use. How to do that is one of the few things we will discuss in this article.
Chivalry: What Does That Mean?
Ah, chivalry. There’s just something about that word. Can’t exactly pin my finger on what it is. Maybe it’s the sharpness of the “chi“, the lilting of the “val” and the soft exhale of “ry”.
Hold on. Let me finish this.
My point is chivalry is more than just a word. It’s a feeling. An honor. And before we deliberate on whether that feeling is dead today, let’s first take a look at the meaning of the word.
The dictionary, our savior, describes chivalry in three ways:
- a combination of qualities expected of an ideal knight, namely courage, honor, courtesy, justice, and a readiness to help the weak
- the medieval knightly system with its religious, moral, and social code
- courteous behavior, especially that of a man toward women
Now we know what chivalry is, but how did it come to be?
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Origin of Chivalry
Do you know that chivalry, for all its glory, started out as a cult?
Chivalry, or the chivalric code, was a conventional etiquette developed in Europe between 1170 and 1220. The COC (Chivalric Code of Conduct) was associated with the ancient Christian institution of knighthood.
Chivalry comes from the French word cheval. The chivalric code was made to police the three spheres of civilization: the common, the elite, and the sacred. At the time, the chivalric code was called the Knight’s Code.
It is best known as the belief and practices of the knights of medieval times, and descendants upheld this code of conduct for centuries. At the time, chivalry wasn’t a term for the masses. You could only be chivalrous if you were a knight. That was what they believed.
Any person from a noble house seeking to be called a knight had to abide by all of the several rules that summed up the knight’s code. It truly was an age of law and order. Wish I could’ve been there.
Sadly, this age did not survive the coming of the Renaissance.
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Did Chivalry Continue After The End Of Knighthood?
Most certainly.
Though knighthood perished, chivalry did not. The common men learned the code when there were no more knights in shining armor to slay horrid beasts or save the damsel. They learned that chivalry didn’t actually require a suit of armor and a sword (knights be doing the most, I tell you).
They learned that chivalry means being loyal, courteous, protective, honorable, and gentle. It also entails being courageous, humble, obedient, and chaste.
Men who live by the code of chivalry show self-control, respect for authority and women, and protect the innocent and unarmed. They are never to attack an unarmed foe, attack from behind, or use a weapon on an opponent that is not equal to the attack.
Chivalrous people administer justice, avoid cheating, lying, and torture, and avenge the wronged. They will never abandon a friend or noble cause or betray them. They exhibit good manners, avoid deception, keep their word of honor, and die with valor.
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Is Chivalry Dead?
One reason I think chivalry is quite scarce today is that modern people regard chivalry as this prestigious concept involving grand gestures and suave monologues. I think modern people are irrational, wouldn’t you agree? How can you, though? You’re modern, too.
To be chivalrous today is not to slay a dragon, but to possess simple courtesies that show an innate respect for yourself and for others. Simple gestures like holding a door open for someone, helping a stranger pick up their fallen books, and standing up to their bullies if need be.
One late evening during the wet season of 2019, I was on my way back from the campus library when I noticed this girl being tailed. How did I know? Easy. You see it in the way they move. Always watch the legs.
I saw nothing eye-catching about this girl, just your every day Mary Amaka. In fact, the only thing I found remotely fascinating about her situation was the trouble attached.
Two shadows walked less than ten feet behind her. The darkness hindered no details. I assumed the boys were classmates. But her movements told me otherwise. Especially when one hand came too close and she batted it away.
Walk Away, Common Sense told me. Thunder boomed. Lightning flashed.
Looking back on it now, I wonder what I was thinking. But at that moment, I followed instinct. I stopped the girl and asked her to share her umbrella. I tried my best to look modest but at six-foot-two all efforts were probably futile. The girl wasn’t foolish. She knew an angel when she saw one. We left together and no hand bothered her again.
You need no shining armor (though you are gonna slay, if you do) to be chivalrous. All you need is a sense of honor.
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Chivalry In Nigeria Today
The knights who lived an age before left behind a legacy of valor and love. It would be remiss of me to deny that people still want those values today.
Unfortunately, the men of today don’t know what that legacy was all about, and most men have no idea about the revered knight’s code.
In the days of old, Knights would take off their cloaks and drop them over puddles so that their lady did not dirty her feet. They would pick up a damsel’s scarf when she dropped it on the ground in a trice. Can men really do that today without being called a SIMP?
Some will even step over anything you drop on the ground, claiming to share blood with Bartimaeus. As for carrying a lady over puddles, taking her cloak so it doesn’t stain … only a man in love will do that. The regular man will most likely prefer them to carry him.
These days, most people (especially Nigerians) describe the very act of chivalry as something else. They even have a slang for it. “Simping.”
Now what that generally means, I have no idea. But people use it to refer to a manner where you act to gain favors (usually with another s3x) instead of with integrity. So because men don’t want to be called simps, they throw every sense of chivalry out the window and turn into these mannerless cretins to gain approval among their peers.
Yes, peer pressure is killing chivalry.
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A Word from Battabox
If anyone tells you chivalry is dead, don’t think about it. Knowing how to be chivalrous isn’t an art to please another s3x. It’s a way of life to appreciate the people around you. It can make you a better individual who’s appreciated and trusted by the people around you.
Is chivalry dead in homes? No, I would say not. Is chivalry dead in schools? I would say no, either. Many people still imbibe chivalry to better their lives. If you want to be chivalrous, then I suggest you learn these traits I’m about to list for you, and not just because you want to impress someone.
What are these traits?
- Open doors for others
- Save the last bite of food for someone else
- Spend time with your family
- Do activities others are interested in, even if you’re not
- Send gifts
- Walk on the outside of the sidewalk closest to the street
- Kiss on the back of the hand and the forehead
- Fill up someone’s gas tank
- Put other’s jackets on for them or offer your jacket
If you have any further questions on chivalry, read the topic again.
