I promise you; at some point in your life, you will ask yourself this question: what are the red flags in a relationship? I could show you clips but why spoil the fun of making you read? Oh, don’t mention it.
Before we delve into what red flags are and how to point them out in any relationship, let’s first define a relationship. Yes, it is necessary.
What is A Relationship?
A relationship is simply a bond between two people or more. There are many types of relationships, some only between two individuals, others more. Anyway, we’re not here to discuss all the existing types of relationships. What concerns this post is the particular bond between two people.
A romantic relationship.
Granted, we have romantic relationships involving more than two partners (polygamy) but let’s just limit ourselves to two for today (monogamy).
A romantic relationship exists between people who have emotional and sexual intimacy. Usually, these relationships culminate in marriage, where they bind themselves beforessssss the eyes of witnesses, either by law or religion.
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What Does Red Flag Mean Generally?
When you hear the term ‘red flag’, it usually means “warning” or “timeout” and is applicable to various concepts. In sports, a referee raises a red flag if you commit a foul. If you know enough about soccer, I don’t need to say what the red card is for. No idea? Well…
Red flags mounted along a motorbike racetrack will tell a speeding rider that the road is not favorable and they’re playing chess with Thanatos.
Red tape on streets signifies a restricted area, and red traffic lights tell us to stop. That about culminates it.
What Does Red Flag Mean In A Relationship?
Based on all the Greek said above, a “red flag” in relationships simply means a sign or factor that tells you your partner is not ready to handle the relationship. Red flags are cues that warn you of pending troubles in the journey of a relationship.
“Love is unconditional, relationships are not.” — Grant Gudmundson
Grant spoke truly. Whereas love has no TOA (I won’t tolerate ignorance in my class), a relationship has plenty to spare. A relationship requires devotion, sacrifice, resilience, trust, efficient communication, and the willingness to put one person above the rest. It takes more than just love.
A relationship is worth the struggle, but it is not easy to build, especially when your partner doesn’t seem to be all in with you. When the very idea of commitment overwhelms them.
One important thing you should know is red flags in a relationship might not be obvious. While some are very clear, many might present more as a clue or a hint that there’s an underlying problem. Also, it can take some time for a red flag to present itself in a relationship.
“In relationships, red flags are signs that the person probably can’t have a healthy relationship and proceeding down the road together would be emotionally dangerous.” — Dr. Wendy Walsh. PhD
Couldn’t have put it better than Wendy. She certainly earned that degree, for sure.
Related: 10 Signs Your Marriage Is Headed For Divorce
Red Flags VS Yellow Flags
When it comes to relationships, yellow flags suggest you exercise caution or slow down and not get attached too fast. They are cues for less severe issues and may vary based on your wants and needs in a relationship.
Red flags, on their part, scream, “BACK UP!!! WALK AWAY!!!”
However red flags are conventional in nature. And in the next segment, we shall alas discuss the red flags in relationships. I know you’ve been waiting.
10 Red Flags In Relationships
Are all red flags the same for everyone? And are they a reason to walk away, or does it ever make sense to address the red flag and mend the relationship? Well, we might not have the answers to those questions, but we can certainly outline some of the most common red flags in relationships to be aware of.
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A Controlling Partner
Don’t get me wrong. Some people like a good Christian Grey every now and then. But when it comes to controlling every aspect of your life? No. Move on, please.
Have No Friends
I mean, are you a serial killer? Do you blow people up for a living? I don’t know, and I don’t wanna know. Next!
No Emotional Intimacy
Not being able to connect deeply and authentically with the other person is one sure sign you must watch out for. Chances are if your partner isn’t being emotionally intimate with you, he’s doing it with someone else.
READ: Domestic Violence: 5 Signs you are a victim and helpful resources
Well, I wanna be the apple of your eye, but I’m pretty sure I don’t wanna be the eye. Stalking and shadowing might work for the fangirls of YOU, but I assure you that’s creepy behavior. Next!
For many, this is a real pain because of the emotional and mental manipulation that comes with it. If you have a partner who regularly gaslights you or makes you feel that things are not what you see them to be, then that’s a red flag.
Trashing Their Exes
Unless you wish to end up as one of them, your most-precious moments reduced to a dinner gist for future prospects, run for the hills.
Consistent Jealousy And Distrust
No one likes a jealous lover, especially when there’s nothing valid to be jealous about. And when there’s a habit of persistent distrust in a relationship, that relationship has no future and should better be called off. In fact, the CDC reports that domestic violence is a leading cause of death in many homes owned by couples young and old.
Mismatched Relationship Goals
A particular saying goes like this, “On life’s vast ocean, diversely we sail.”
Everyone has goals and dreams, even if some never get to act on them. In a relationship, it’s better to be with someone whose goals and values align with yours. If not, you might end up frustrated with the relationship a few months in. Yes, diversity is fun, but not so fun when it comes to building the future together.
SEE: Domestic Violence: 5 Signs you are a victim and helpful resources
If substance abuse leads your partner to harm you in any way, then that’s a clear sign to walk away from the relationship.
Prone To Violence
No short story is needed. If they hit you, never tolerate them again. If you stay, they will make a habit of it, and you will only have yourself to blame.
A Word From Battabox On Reg Flags
We wish we could tell you these are all the signs that exist, but the truth is there are others. So we would ask that you follow your instincts and act accordingly. Whoever said your gut never lies knew exactly what he was sniffing.
A hard pill to swallow is that someone could exhibit these signs and still turn out to be your soul mate. The universe, like the new Lagos terminal, wasn’t built in accordance with sense. Above all, trust your gut and it will never lead you astray.
If you have any questions or further suggestions, leave them in the comments below. My work here is done.