What are the reasons why men are scared of commitment?
It is no secret that, when it comes to commitment, most men be pussies. In fact, it is almost a trademark for the gender, along with a few other things that we probably shouldn’t go into, because we risk getting sidetracked.
However, let us make one thing clear: not all men fear commitment. In fact, even those who do will probably commit to someone at some point.
So why, you may be wondering, can’t he commit to you right now?
Well, timing is very important in relationships, and maybe he’s not ready yet. There are many reasons why men are scared of commitments that have nothing to do with you as a person because, for most men, committing to a serious relationship is one of the most challenging decisions in life. And this isn’t without reason.
So much of what men consider valuable hangs on this decision – his future, her future, his state of happiness, etc. A poorly chosen partner can wreak years of havoc on a man’s life and leave him feeling more broken than ever before, while a well-chosen partner will be the best thing that ever happened to him.
With so much hanging on this single decision, fear of commitment can only be considered natural.
So, if you fear commitment or you are wondering why men are scared of commitment, know that you aren’t alone. The vast majority of men across the world have some degree of fear of commitment for one reason or another.
But before we dive into the reasons why men are scared of commitment, let us define the term itself.
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What is Commitment?
When it comes to commitment, there is a lot of confusion about what it actually means. People often think that if they are not in a relationship, then they are not committed. This could not be further from the truth! Commitment has nothing to do with being in a relationship and everything to do with how you live your life.
Commitment is making a conscious decision to be dedicated to something or someone. It is the willingness to stick with something through thick and thin. When you are truly committed to something, you put your all into it. You give it your full attention and focus. You refuse to give up no matter what challenges come your way.
Now that we are clear on that, without further ado, here are seven common reasons why men are scared of commitment.
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Common Reasons Why Men Are Scared Of Commitment
They have trust issues
The term “trust issues” has been thrown around with frequency and carelessness in recent years and has, as a result, drifted into a realm of ambiguity.
Trust issues usually come from two places. The first is the man’s fault and is a result of an over-wariness or some other fear that makes him afraid of commitment without good reason. The second comes from a reasonable distrust of a partner based on past experiences.
So, while trust issues and commitment issues are technically not the same, they usually come as a package deal. But it is one of the reasons why men are scared of commitment.
Many men have trust issues from past relationships. And while this may be justifiable, carrying emotional baggage from a previous relationship into a new one will often cause more issues than it helps resolve.
If you have this over-wariness or over-fear of trust, it’s likely because you need to sort something out about your feelings and what you expect from your partner before entering a new relationship.
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They are afraid of losing their freedom
Another reason why men are scared of commitment is because they value their freedom and independence and fear a woman will take that away from them. Some men believe that if they commit to a woman, she will have to be informed of every move they make. They fear they’d have to ask for permission to do things that they can now freely do.
A man in a committed relationship will naturally need to include his partner when making decisions. Some men don’t like this and prefer to have their independence. They want to be able to go out with their friends and party until the morning without anyone getting upset. They want to be able to leave the toilet seat up and do all the little things that would probably annoy their partner.
While a person can have a life outside of the relationship when they commit to someone, it’s really not the same life they had. They don’t enjoy the same freedom as when they can do whatever they please.
And being able to do whatever you want means a lot to a man. This is one of the reasons why men are scared of commitment.
Some men keep behaving the same way when they commit. They don’t consider their partner’s feelings and don’t ask for their opinion. This is not healthy for a relationship. But what’s the alternative?
Well, they could truly commit and change some things, or they could refuse to commit and stay the same. Some men choose the latter because freedom sometimes matters more than love.
They are not mature enough
When someone is young and full of lust for life, they’re often not ready to get married and have kids. They’re not mature enough for that, and that’s okay.
However, being mature doesn’t have to have anything to do with age. Yes, younger guys are more likely to fear commitment than older ones, but this is not a rule. Maturity and age don’t always go hand in hand. You can be 40 and still not mature enough for a committed relationship.
A man has to grow up and let go of a lot of childish things, habits, and thoughts to be ready to commit. Some men are never mature enough, and you can’t force them to grow up. Everyone matures at their own pace, and some take longer than others, a lot longer.
In addition, women tend to mature sooner than men.
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They fear rejection
Fear of rejection is one of the biggest and most overwhelming reasons why men are scared of commitments and stray from new relationships.
Many men have commitment phobia because of previous rejection, while some fear what they have never experienced. Either way, they both try their darnedest to avoid that terrible feeling of worthlessness.
You see her across the bar, approach, get a few words out, and are turned away with a mocking smile and hollow condolences. This leads to a lifelong fear of rejection. That pain results in a broken heart, and it’s straightforward to feel you lack all the emotional capacity to recover.
You can’t get rejected if you don’t commit in the first place. This is a dangerous way to think, but most men are guilty of feeling this way.
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They’re afraid of being exposed
Everyone has secrets. And some people are so terrified of anyone finding out their secret that they won’t get close to anyone.
In a committed relationship, couples get to know each other for who they truly are. They discover all the skeletons in the closet, dark secrets, fears, insecurities, and a person’s past. And while some people enjoy sharing this part of themselves, some people are terrified of it. They don’t want anyone to get to know the real them, so they avoid serious relationships.
When a person doesn’t want anyone to get to know them on a deeper level, they’ll avoid getting too involved with them. This is one of the reasons why men are scared of commitment.
They’re afraid of change
If a man is utterly content with his romantic life, entering into a serious relationship may seem nothing more than an unnecessary risk.
A casual dating relationship is very different from a committed, long-term relationship. He may be enjoying the lack of structure in the relationship – the flirting, the teasing, the novel excitement of it all – and see no reason to change anything.
When a relationship is in its early stages and not serious, there is no pressure to make it last because there is very little disappointment and heartbreak in separation. But once you commit, you are opening yourself up and allowing another being to hold so much sway over your future and your happiness.
This vulnerability can be one of the reasons why men are scared of commitment.
They still want to see other women
Sometimes, the simplest explanation is the only true one.
A reason why men are scared of commitment could be because they’re still not done with other women. They want to have casual s3x or several relationships before settling down.
They could be with an amazing woman but still not want to commit to her. If they do, they’ll lose their chance to get involved with any other woman. And no matter how great one woman is, she is still only one woman.
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Wrapping Up The Reasons Why Men Are Scared Of Commitment
So what are the reasons why men are scared of commitment? The answer to this question is complicated, but can roughly be summed up into:
- Trust issues
- Fear of losing their freedom
- Immaturity
- Fear of rejection
- Fear of being exposed
- Fear of change
- Wanting to see other women
Some men do fear commitment, while others see it as a sign of strength and courage. It really depends on the individual man and his personal definition of commitment.
For some men, committing to one person may seem like too much responsibility. They may feel like they would be giving up their freedom or independence if they were in a committed relationship. Other men may simply not be ready for marriage or fatherhood yet and may avoid any kind of serious commitment altogether.
Whatever the reason, there are plenty of single men out there who are unwilling to commit to anything or anyone.
