Dating should really be simple, right? I mean, I like you, you like me, so let’s get into it. Hehehe! Not these days and especially not in Lagos.
In this town, there are levels to dating. You could be in a relationship with someone and the person is in a relationship with someone else or someone could be in a relationship with you without your knowledge.
It’s quite complicated, isn’t it? Relationship don be like jigsaw puzzle, and the major reason for this is that many people have been bullied into believing that asking “what are we?” is an act of desperation.
Dating can be such a beautiful and sweet experience if you are with a person who is not afraid to show you off and profess love to you at any given time. It becomes emotionally draining when it feels like you are the only one putting in all the effort and your “partner” doesn’t appreciate or reciprocate.
If you are wondering whether you are dating yourself, then keep reading to find out.
8 sure ways to know if you are dating yourself
You always initiate the date plans
How can one person, in a relationship that is made up of two people, be the one initiating dates all the time? Na only you waka come?
Who dey plan date? Na you. Who dey excited about the date? Na you. Who wants to hang out? Na you. Your partner is just passive or indifferent about it. Why not just date a log of wood and save yourself the trouble?
It’s one thing if your partner is not a good planner, but they should at least show some enthusiasm when it comes to spending time with you. If your person is not excited to see you, they just might not be your person.
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When you always make compromises, but your partner never does
Love is about giving, sharing, and making sacrifices. This means that, at times, you must put your partner’s needs before your own. For their sake, you might have to change your plans or even let go of some people and things.
It’s important to put your partner’s needs first, but it’s unfair if you’re the only one making sacrifices.
Even in platonic relationships, people make compromises. If you constantly need to put your wish aside to fulfill your partner’s wishes, then you are definitely in a one-sided relationship.
SEE: Goodnight Messages for Her
You are always begging for attention
When you are in love with someone… in fact, love is far-fetched. When you are interested in a person genuinely, you give them attention.
You shouldn’t have to beg for attention, throw tantrums, or make up stories for your partner to notice you.
Everybody is busy, so this should not even be an excuse. If you mean a lot to someone, they will make time for you out of their busy schedule.
If you are begging for conversations, begging to be heard in a relationship, then my dear, you might want to start dating other people.
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When you cannot be yourself around the
When dating someone, you should be able to be your truest self around them. You should be vulnerable and free with them. If that’s not the case with your partner, you should check that relationship.
Imagine dating someone you have to be on eggshells around because you don’t want to upset them or irritate them.
My dear, please…
You deserve to be with someone who appreciates you even with all your eccentricities.
READ: Love Messages To Make Her Smile
You are the only one contributing financially
Even if your partner is not financially buoyant, making an effort is very s3xy.
If your partner is not making any effort to contribute financially to the relationship, then just let it go, please.
You are the only one giving in the relationship, you buy presents, you pay the bills, you pay for dates. Yet the person you are dating is not even attempting to take up financial responsibility.
You really don’t want to go into a permanent relationship with such a person; you will get tired.
Even if the person is broke, once again, effort is s3xy. It doesn’t have to be anything that breaks the bank; just something to show they care.
You are not in your partner’s plans
When your partner is making plans, you do not see yourself in them. You hear a lot of ‘I(s)’ and no ‘We(s)’. You cannot see yourself in your partner’s plans, or they are making future plans without your knowledge.
Honey, you are dating yourself.
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You are always apologizing
First of all…
You always apologize, whether you are the one at fault or not.
You have a partner who makes mistakes or offends you, then you call them out on their mistake. But instead of apologizing, they turn around and blame you for getting hurt or angry. Sounds familiar?
This is such a red flag. A very big sign that you are dating yourself.
My advice to you? Run!
SEE: Red Flags In Relationships You Must Not Ignore
You are always the one keeping the conversation going
Texting first always, and even double texting.
You are the one asking how their day was, and even when you do, they give unenthusiastic responses without reciprocating. Imagine sending a long text about your day or something that’s stressing you out and they just reply with “sorry” or “okay” or an annoying short sentence like that.
Please just know you are on your own.
Your partner can go days without calling or texting you except when they need you, just pack your slippers, please.
That is a sure sign that you are on your own in the dating pool. Move on dear; there are other fishes in the river, cause this particular fish is not for you.
READ: Why Do Women Cheat?
How to know if you are dating yourself: In conclusion…
Every relationship should achieve a balance where both partners are committed to serving, assisting, and putting the other person first. They must both make sacrifices…
… and make the other feel loved, supported, at ease, and needed.
If your relationship isn’t making you feel this way, perhaps the scales are tipping against you.
There is a saying: “because I dey thirst, no mean say make I drink gutter water”. That you feel alone today, doesn’t mean you should date someone that makes you unhappy.
You are enough.
